His Girl

Beyond Repair

"So..." I muse, trying to ignore the last couple of minutes.

"How are you feeling?"

"I am doing good. Why are you here?" I ask getting straight to the point. No point in beating around the bush, funny it takes being shot to teach you that.

"Well I came to curse you out for standing me up Friday." He chuckles and I smile even though he's deflecting.

"What can I say you aren't my type." I tease.

"Wow, you cut deep. I thought I was Mr Right." He whimpers in mock hurt.

"Ha you're an idiot." I laugh but stop when it hurts my stomach.

"At least I made you smile so its worth looking stupid." He smiles a genuine smile.

A knock at the door interrupts us and a tall gentleman in his late fifties with white hair and soft calming feature walks in. The white coat screams doctor and everything inside me tenses. The taught muscles make me hurt but I just can't relax.

"Madeline Vega?" He queries and I nod. I want to say it's Rosa but it seems irrelevant right now.

"Hello Madeline, I am Dr Thorne. I have some things I need to discuss with you." He states calmly but from the pity in his eyes I know this isn't good.

"I can give you privacy if you want?" Blake offers but before I can speak Dr Thorne cuts in.

"Are you her boyfriend?"

"Hopefully." Blake chuckles and the Dr follows suit, I roll my eyes but don't speak. This is not a time for laughing or joking. How can they not see how on edge I am. He needs to just spit it out already.

"Madeline it is probably best you have someone here for this if that's ok?" I just nod wondering what could be so bad. Why is he dragging it out? I look at Blake silently questioning if he minds. This seems a little deep for a pre date. I need Danny but impatience and fear mute me.

'I will stay right here, okay." He grabs my hand moving his thumb in soothing circles on the back of my hand.

"As you are aware we had to remove the bullet from your stomach in surgery. However the damage caused by the bullet was already extensive. The damage to your womb was unfortunately already done although I was able to leave it in and close it off. However this is not without future complications."

"I don't understand what you are saying." I mumble, I had a gut feeling of what he was saying, it just seemed to unreal. So crazy that he couldn't mean what I think he does.

"In simple terms Miss Vega, the chance of you getting pregnant are slim to none. If you do manage to conceive, your womb wouldn't be able to take the strain and would result in a miscarriage almost definitely. In my professional opinion you will not conceive,  I have to however give you all possibilities. No matter how slight the chances " He explains with pity evident in his tone.

"I can't have children." I said out loud to nobody in particular. I am numb, this can't be real.

"Thank you." Blake says to the Dr, dismissing him. He can't go, he need to read my charts, tell me its the wrong patient. Something. Anything to make him wrong. This is wrong.

"Hey Mads, come on don't get yourself upset your still healing. It will all work out." He soothes but I lose the battle against the sobs that overtake my body. I cling to Blake for some sort of comfort but even though his arms wrap around me tight I feel nothing, I feel empty.

I cry until there is nothing left and the darkness over takes me. I am vaguely aware of Blake tucking me in and placing a gentle kiss on my forehead.

"I am so sorry Mads. I will get him for this. I will make him pay." He demands he sounds so angry. I don't understand why though. At who? Me? Who will pay? The Doctor?

I drift again but am stirred by Danny's raised voice.

"What did you do to her?" He seethes. I don't need to open my eyes to see his angered face. I want to pretend that I have longer to wrap my head around this before I explain something I don't fully understand myself.

"We need to talk outside, she needs to rest." Blake orders.

"Don't tell me what she needs."

"Listen arsehole, I don't like you, you don't like me but after the news she just had I will not fight around her." Blake voice sounds deceptively calm but the under current sounds deadly.

What news?

I can't have babies. It ironic I always knew I wanted them in the future but it never seemed important until it was taken away from me. I never gave it much thought to it really yet now it's not an option I can't think of anything else.

I here the door open and the blackness returns.

I wonder if I would have been a good mum...