Cold Hard Hugs

#19_Uncomfortable Words

There was a surprising amount of beer in the fridge. Surprising given my usual proclivities and habit of making just about any alcohol with arm's reach of me disappear in short order. I hadn't really had much call or opportunity to drink it of late, I realised. Just hadn't really been feeling the need or desire. I did now though, so the abundance was welcomed. I grabbed the nearest bottle and cracked it open, meandering back upstairs and pointedly ignoring the excited holiday discussion I could hear wafting from Tillie's room.

I saw on the bed, for a change of pace. My desk chair was uncomfortable anyway. So was my bed, to be fair, but it still won out in a contest between the two. I sat on it and stared at my possessions, wondering which of them would be useful in staving off boredom until I fell asleep. Nothing jumped out at me. Perhaps I wasn't looking hard enough.

Grunting, I got down onto my hands and knees for a closer look at my books. They might have something for me, maybe. The films were all downstairs, as said, and that seemed a long way away at this point. Besides, I wanted quiet. Books are very quiet. Holding my bottle with one hand I ran the index finger of the other along spines, to get a feel for them. I'd read all of these before.

There was that slight increase in air pressure and little gust of wind that could only mean one thing. Sure enough, looking up, I saw Skaffen drifting into the room in what could only be describe as a casual fashion. Could only could only could only. Like busses, these phrases in my mind.

"Hi?" I said, hoping it was the right thing to say. I also got up off my knees, as that was no way to have a proper conversation.

"Hello," she said, continuing to drift, bobbing gently in the air. The bobbing was new and presumably an affectation, though what it was supposed to convey I had no idea.

"Are you intimidated by Johnny?" Skaffen asked bluntly, clearly hoping to knock me off balance! No such luck, Skaffen; I can answer blunt with blunt! Don't think you can knock me off balance with a non-sequitur question out of absolutely nowhere! Just you watch.

"Oh God yes," I said without hesitation as I flopped back onto my bed. "He's one of those intelligent, amusing, confident people who seem to have their lives one-hundred percent in order. Those sort of people are terrifying."

This was true, people like that were terrifying. The sorts of people who seem to know exactly what they want out of life and how to get it and enjoy every bit along the way to an extent that simply escapes normal, slovenly people like myself. Admirable souls yes and paragons - role models even! But terrifying, and deeply depressing to look at for too long. A reminder of how far short the rest of us fall.

"That's not what I meant."

"The nanohive thing?" I ventured, hoping maybe this was the correct answer. It was not.

"Not what I meant either and you know that," she said, aura glowing dully.

"I don't think I'm sure what you're driving at," I said. One of her fields came to rest lightly on my shoulders which also made the hairs stick up on the back of my neck. I was not sure why she was doing it.

"What do you guess I'm driving at? If you had to guess?" She asked, voice softer by far than I had yet heard it. I really had no idea. My blank look probably conveyed this. Skaffen sighed, aura darkening. Oopsie.

"Tillie seemed very friendly with Johnny, didn't she?" She asked.

"Tillie is a friendly person. Johnny seems a friendly person too,"I said. I only had one encounter to back me on Johnny, but first impressions count for a lot, you know?

"That's not - are you trying to be dense?" Skaffen asked, what patience she had managed to scrape together to talk to me clearly running thin. I shrugged, unable to care too much about it.