'Moon Shapes'

Chapter 23: Does everyone float? (Dannity & Talek)

"... I mean, aren't we all, in some ways... different?" I quizzed.

I had gotten a reciprocated smirk.

"But now this freak show has commenced in front of someone else... some one that I truly believe I'm infatuated with... and, I'm not sure where that can leave us at now." He spat out.

He was chatting all these words in fast paced seconds; with little time to catch up, but the last sentiment struck hard as lightening; like hitting a lone tree in a vast meadow.

I choked in air, and saliva all at once; provoking several coughs to manifest.

Almost succumbing towards forming my own tears. I couldn't believe my ears. He was relaying all these delightful thoughts – out loud – to me!

"It doesn't bother me, Talek." Finally breaking my silence.

Even if my abrasive past still carried weight on my conscious, I knew... no, I felt that this was totally unrelated. At that very thought creeping back up my vertebrae, I refuse to let that nasty time rule over every singular poignant moment that I'm able to take a breath.

I'm exhausted in living with the constant fear of the 'what if this happens... or that may occur.' I may as well paw out my own burial plot alongside many I have lost.

"Truly... it doesn't convince my feelings one way or the other."

He sighed in what I could tell was relief. His tensely stance had subsided at my words.

"I know... I want you... that's all I recognize and irrepressibly feel." His alluring eyes finally stopping their franticness and daggered into me.

With this now out in the open, how could I fear him?

Besides, I knew I wanted him just as well. I wanted him from the first moment. It was a no brainer for me to have such an attraction for him – but the immediate question did have to surface: how can my life co-exist with his, and be lived without any conflict? Especially with 'the one' only a few feet (usually) away?

I guess when you indeed care for someone, you can accept just about any and all differences they may or unknowingly have.

Besides, what kind of life would be worth living if there wasn't some sort interesting tension involved? Of course, this peculiar life had already been a thrill of a ride so far; why not add another hill or two onto this roller-coaster?

***

He swiped an unknown tear on my cheek by his right thumb. Looking tickled at something I had been left out of the joke for.

"That's unique..." He said pulling away from my hair a clump of black and gray fur.

"Must've come from all the debris." I proposed.

"Yea... probably."

He finally smiled after a long pause of digesting our collaborated words. He must have shaken his insecurities off, as he had suddenly gained momentum to press against my lips again, yet - this time, staying planted onto the floor.

Watching him saunter towards the turn at the end of hall and disappearing around the corner to the iridescent exit sign sitting above the staircase door and to the authorities, who were probably already at the human remains and the grassy knoll of doom.

I twitched at the transpired effects of this strange night.

Another stare down the same hallway that has given some interesting altercations within the cream walls – the thoughts were plaguing my every movement going into the apartment.

Everything seemed to scream at the same conclusion: I've done the 'bad-boy-seducer-of-panties,' and it was good; then, the twenty something days of haziness lifted; I was undeniably sore from all the Kamasutra varied positions, but that wasn't split my lungs of air. If you've ever had an energy drink just after a spectacular larger amount of dark brewed coffee – mix that with an anti-depressant – then you've had yourself a taste of the good ole' 'boy-gone-bad-experience.'

It always – no matter the middle parts; or how long the duration of relationship takes – it will end spectacularly bad.

No storybook ending can cover up the lashings taking between parts one, then two; and once you've reached the third act, you're completely exhausted, and bluntly relieved when it has gone up in colossal flames. And yet, here I am, wandering down that freakin'... I sighed, finding myself willing to partake a trip down past regrets again – no, I can't! With a forceful shaking to push out any remembrance, that now seemed like another's life and not mine, a rather unsettling question quickly hurled through my brain faster than a silver bullet; a manifesting bullet that stopped me dead in my tracks: do I have the heart left to go through a potential mess like that again?