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We both lay breathing heavy. He's still on top of me. Regret and embarrassment races fast through my mind and I pray that Carl didn't hear me whisper his name.

He rolls off and lays beside me on the bed. We still don't have our breathe back. His hand rests unconsciously on the top of my right thigh now.

"Oh my g-" he begins.

"You did well," I cut in panting. "And I should know."

"But," he half gasps. "It doesn't really count with those assholes."

I don't answer him or agree with him.

It does count. As much as I wish it didn't, with the men, it counts.

His head turns to look at me and I look at him.

"Did I make you forget?" I whisper.

"Yes," he answers, whispering too.

I stare at his missing eye.

Slowly, carefully, I begin to reach out. I see him tense at my movement but he doesn't try and stop me.

"Abby, I-"

"Shh, I won't hurt you," I say.

"No, it's I-"

"Shut up Carl," I whisper.

I let my finger tips gently brush against the skin where his eye should be. The skin feels warm and flaky against my fingers.

Gently, I trace the circle of the wound.

"Abby?" I hear Carl say.

I don't concentrate on his voice but instead focus on what I'm doing.

"Mmm?" I ask.

"I heard you whisper my name."

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