The Myth Of Self-Destruction

Prologue

Every raindrop has it's meaning . Every single thunder indicates the place of a human death . He was looking outside the small window into the narrow street crowded by noisy cars and people rushing to escape the storm . Lilith stood in his lap , her turqoise eyes watching the rain aswell . She moewed with bordedom and left the room silently . Caleb had to study for his mid-terms but something was keeping him from concentrating . The small black letters on the old pages of his textbook weren't coming toghether as they should've . What was the deal with his mother and Dr. Foster ayways ? Late night dates , erly morining walks in the parc , sneaking around the house so they wouldnt wake him up while he was wide awake and listenting to their annoying laughs and their disgusting kisses . He loved his mom and he desperatly wanted her to be happy , but why wasnt she telling him anything ? Caleb pushed his varied scenarios out of his head and decided to put on some music . What the hell happened to him ? All of his Spotify library was filled with emo songs about breakups , anxiety and the desire of suicide . He didn't use to be like that . I mean , even before the death of his younger sister , Delilah , Caleb wasn't cheerful and full of happines , he was just ... Caleb . Those days , the most happines he ever felt was when he ate crackers with peach jam and when he hanged with his incredibly stupid bestfriend , Dom .

Anyways , he decided to spar us all and just play some Greenday . He stood for hours in his state of meditation thinking about Jordan . Oh , Jordan ! The beauty of Lincoln High .Curls of silver-blond hair falling on her delicate shoulders . Her chocolate skin and her bright blue eyes made her a true princess of the wild . I still can't procces her hooking up with that lucky son of a bitch . Caleb wasnt bad - looking or anything , he had hazel eyes , dark hair , average-weight and average-height , but he wasn't part of his world . Caleb kept telling his friends that Jordan hadn't been neither drunk nor high as they engaged in "true , passionate , hot love" , but who would buy that ?

Lilith came back in the room , as silently as she had left , and she jumped swiftly on the border of the window . She started hissing . Caleb finnaly disconected and joined Lilith next to the window . He saw a thin woman walking to the front door of his house . Same dark hair same hazel eyes ... his mother . Caleb turned off the music , put on his hoodie and ran downstairs . His mother opened the ancient door slowly and turned on the lights in the kitchen . He was hiding behind a wall , waiting for something suspicious to happen and at the same time hoping his mother would just drink some water and go to bed . That wasn't the case . His mother threw her purse on the counter and opened a bottle of red wine . She didn't even get a glass , she started drinking like there was no tommorow , an asumption Caleb started to think was more and more viable as time past . When Jennifer finnaly put the bottle down , half empty , a tear started to fall on her left cheek . Then another , and another . She started crying violently putting her hand against her mouth so she wouldn't make much noise . Should he go and try to calm her down or would that make things even worse ? After a few minutes of unbearable pain Jennifer turned off the warm light . Caleb rushed upstaris so he wouldn't be caught , launched himself in the messy bed and fell asleep instantly .

The early morning sun was rising quickly on the clear blue sky . Caleb opened his eyes , his vision blurry and his eyelashes oposing the mandatory separation . He went to the bathroom and put paste on his toothbrush . He washed his teeth in a hurry and got dressed as Lilith was sleeping on the soft cotton couch . He went to the kitchen where he found his mother drinking some pitch black coffee . She had dark circles around her beautiful light brown eyes .

"Oh! Hi, honey!" she said to Caleb trying to force an embarrasing smile .

"Morning!" he said back to her .

"Grab a cup . " said Jennifer . Her morning voice was still audible altough she usually wakes up hours before Caleb does .

The boy went to the upper cupboard and got the yelow cup which had a daisy on it . He sat next to his mother at the round wood table staring at the front door . The postman had already delivered the mail which was sitting untouched on the floor . His mother was obviously aware of that .

"Um , what time did you get home last night ? " asked Caleb .

"I don't know for sure . Midnight , maybe ... "

"Weird ... I was up all night studyig ... didn't hear you . "

" If there is something you want to tell me, honey , go ahead ! "

"Ok. I was coming downstairs when you arrived and I heard you crying . What was that about ?"

"I was stressed about work and stuff . There is nothing you should worry about, hon .

"I don't belive you! " said Caleb trying to hide the anger in his voice .

" I don't know why you are acting so suspicious , but I told you everything I consider you need to know , Caleb . "

"Why won't you tell me what's going on ? I'm sick of people hiding the truth . I really can't stand you lying to me . "

"You have to leave for class now! " said his mother , sadness and regret in her voice .

Caleb got his backpack and went outside , trying to comprehend what had just happened . The air was smelling of fresh pastries and gasoline - the usual smell of 24 CaneStreet - .