And the way she was looking at me. I saw a storm of emotions run through her eyes, running parallel to the thoughts running through her mind. Uncertainty, reluctance, confusion, fear, pain, sadness. Her eyes were their own cocktail of addiction. Alluring, captivating and tempting without even trying. Nasha hai uski aankhon mein.
How am I supposed to stay away from her when I'm drawn to her every time I see her?
"Shehry? Tu theek hai?" Hussain's voice pulled me out of my thoughts. I looked over at him who was giving me a concerned look. "Yaar, kaafi dinon se tu pareshaan lag raha hai. Bata na, kya hua?"
"Kuch nahi," I said, avoiding his eyes by turning back to my closet. I felt his hand on my shoulder, a reassuring burden.
"Shehry, its Sakinah isn't it?" I shut my eyes, and my shoulders slumped in defeat.
"It's not Sakinah as much as it is my own confusing feelings." I finally admitted, walking over to my bed and sitting down. "I want to be close to her, but I don't want to be close to her. I want to erase that pain in her eyes but I don't want to end up giving her or myself more pain." I ran my hand through my hair, disheveling them in my exasperated state. Hussain stayed silent, studying me.
"Tu jitna bhi door jaane ki koshish karega, utna hi paas aayega." He said finally. "Tu itna ladh nahi sakta khud se, haar jaayega. Jazbaat se dara nahi karte."
"No. Main kisi se nahi darta," I said firmly. Suddenly, I didn't feel like talking to him. "Iss masla ko chodo, Ayaan ne humein shaam ko restaurant mein dinner ke liye bulaya hai. Keh raha tha ke koi surprise hai. Be ready by eight."
"Why do you avoid talking about your feelings all the time?" Hussain said, sounding annoyed.
"When I figure this out, I'll be sure to let you know." I said flatly, avoiding eye contact with him.
"Maybe I can help you figure it out. You don't have to do it alone." He insisted softly. I laughed in disbelief. "We used to share every little thing Shehry, what happened?"
"Just be ready by eight." I asserted, telling him to back off right now. He shook his head at me disapprovingly and walked out of the room. I stared at his back, wondering how he would be able to help.
It's just a phase. Thode waqt mein sab bhool jaaonga.
Maybe Hussain was right. I was scared of my own rising feelings for her. I haven't known her for long, yet I have such strong feelings for her. I don't want to imagine what it'll be like if I get to know her better. She was like a book that I wanted to read over and over and over again, one I would never get tired of reading. A book that would be on my nightstand every night.
I shook of the thoughts and went back to the closet to set out clothes for the evening instead.
Ayaan ka surprise kya ho sakta hai?
It was 8 and I was parked outside Waqas' house. They were taking their own sweet time to get ready and I was getting annoyed. I pressed on the horn again and opened my window.
"Kitna time lagaoge, ladkiyon?" I yelled. Finally, they fell out of the doorway, still trying to fix their hair.
"Yaar, sorry. Hum so gaye the, toh bhool gaye." Atif said sheepishly, scratching the back of his neck.
"Beth bhi jao, der ho rahi hai," Hussain finally spoke. He hasn't spoken a word to me after leaving my bedroom.
Yeh kyun itna ghussa kar raha hai?
After they sat, I shifted gears and backed out of the driveway.
"Ayaan ne humein kyun bulaya?" Waqas asked after 5 minutes.
YOU ARE READING
Kismat
Romance#13 in Urdu! Sakinah has seen a lot. At 22 years old, she's lived a life that seems to never end. At 22 years old, she has the responsibility of her three younger siblings. Nothing in the world matters to her as much as her siblings, not her own hap...
CHAPTER SEVEN
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