As Snow Falls

3

"The past has been there all along, reminding us: This time--maybe, hopefully, against all odds, we will get it right."
― Leslie T. Chang

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I stare at him, as frozen as the black ice on the road outside. A thousand memories rush to the forefront of my mind. In the three years I've been gone, he hasn't changed a bit. His mousy brown hair is rumpled like he just rolled out of bed and his tall frame still towers over me. His top clings to the muscles of his chest which I know are underneath and the little white scar on his jaw which he got by scaring me still stands out strikingly against his tanned skin. He should have known better than to jump scare me while I was eating, especially while I had a knife in my hand.

His bright eyes skim over me too, just as transfixed as I am. It's his infamous smirk that brings me out of my trance. I narrow my eyes at his lips, my face forming into a scowl. A sudden hot anger rises in me like a beast. I push past him towards the exit, not saying a word.

"Alex!" He calls out behind me but I keep moving, storming backlit into the wintry night air. I don't want to talk to him or even look at him. I don't want him to see the hurt in my eyes. He brings back too many memories, too much pain. I feel tears forming at the back of my eyes remembering the hurt I felt almost three years ago to this day. I clench my jaw, willing them not to fall.

Shaking my head, I attempt to clear my mind from my negative thoughts. It's been three years since we broke up, well, three years since he broke up with me. I should have moved on by now. I don't doubt that he has, but something has always held me back. And I know if I see him again it'll be even harder to move on. I guess I'll be walking the whole night.

"Alex wait!" Nathan shouts, his boots crunching over the freshly fallen snow.

I walk faster. The icy air nipping at my skin again. The warmth I felt all but a few seconds ago is nothing but a distant memory.

"Come on, Lee. You're going to freeze out here!" he shouts, closer this time. I had forgotten how much longer his legs were than mine.

I stop walking, my muscles going rigid in rage and my heart drowning in grief. I remember a time when that name, Lee, used to fill me with so much warmth. Now it makes my heart as cold as the snow falling around me.

"Don't," I bite out through clenched teeth, turning around to face him. Red hot fire now replaces the hurt in my eyes. "Call me that. You know my name is Alex."

His eyes widen and he unconsciously took a step back from me.

"Woah, easy there tiger," he says raising his hands in front of him, palms facing me, "I'm only trying to help."

"I don't need your help," I seethe crossing my arms both out of anger and to hide the fact that I'm shaking from the cold.

He walks closer to me, green eyes full of concern. I don't want to be the first to break eye contact but the emotion he is showing is too much to bear. Too much like old times. I must become stone.

"You and I both know that's a lie," he states. I don't have to look at him to know he's smiling. I can hear it in the baritone of his voice.

I let out a sharp breath through my nose, creating a white cloud between me and Nathan. I quickly spin on my heel and start walking back towards the perilous road. I don't make it five steps before his large warm hand is wrapped on my upper arm, stopping me.

"Alex," he stresses my name, "We both know you won't make the night out there. You'll turn to ice before you make it over the peak! Look at you, you don't even have boots on."

I know he's right, even with the right gear anyone would struggle to stay warm in the freezing mountain nights, especially near the peaks. I don't want to admit this however, so instead I change the topic.

"What's it to you, anyway?" I ask bitterly, turning around and making eye contact again.

He lets out an exasperated breath as he runs a hand through his hair, showing his annoyance. "'Cause I'm a good person and I don't want you freezing to death!" He states, his voice raised slightly.

He glares at me and I glare right back. "You're as stubborn as ever. You know that right?" He asks.

I don't reply, instead I continue to glare at him. I don't trust my voice. My over-tired body is causing my emotions to run high. His faces softens as he notices my cold, shivering form.

"See you're cold already," Nathan mutters. He mustn't know I walked here. Shaking his head slightly, he raises a hand to touch my frosty cheek. The minute his warm fingers make contact with my frozen skin he yanks them away, a sharp hiss coming out between his lips.

"Shit! You're frozen Alex!" He exclaims, covering my cheeks with his warm hands. "How long have you been out here?"

I looked up at him sheepishly "Five hours, a little less maybe."

His eyes widen again. "Five hours!" He shouts, "Are you mad!?" He looks me over like I really have lost it. "Where's your car?"

"I wasn't paying attention and it skidded off the road. It was too banged up to drive," I say as the strength from my earlier anger leaves me.

Nathan's eyes skim over my face then down my body looking for injury.

"Nathan I'm fine. I got lucky I guess."

He looks at my in disbelief. "Got lucky? Alex you could have died!" We stare at each other as silence grows around us, for what feels like hours. Finally, Nathan breaks the quiet.

Running a hand down his face in exasperation, he says, "Come on, I'll make up a cup of something and you can warm yourself up in the shower. Unlike you I was smart and knew not to drive in the dark with ice on the roads."

He starts to move towards the motel rooms and I follow, too tired now to fight anymore. He stops outside a dark wooden door, the rusted silver numbers announcing it as room 32. He opens the door and holds it for me, looking at me with expecting eyes.

I can still leave, take my chances but he was right, I could have died and there is absolutely no way I'd last the night in one piece. A warm shower does sound nice too.