a Piece of Art

11.0 T H E A F T E R

   Jackson died that night.

   Apparently the other car had hit his side. There was nothing the doctors could do to save him.

   Blake called us from the hospital, Leah had told a nurse to tell him what had happened.

   Jackson had arrived dead to the hospital.

   Leah got out of it with minor injures, her wrist twisted, a scratch in the face. Her heart broken. Jackson's body taking most of the impact.

   When we got to the hospital, we could feel something wasn't right. Blake was crying, but chose to tell us what had happened when we arrived, not over the phone.

   They were over the speed limit, crossed the dark street without looking. Another car was also coming fast, the driver didn't see them. After the collision, he run away. Leah had to call an ambulance.

   She didn't let us see her that night she had to spend in the hospital. I could hear her sobs from the other side of the door to her room though.

   Every single one of us seemed to be in shock. Some time after us, Steph arrived with Liam. Blake took care of everything regarding the care of Jackson's body.

   It felt so weird to call him that. I felt like a little pain monster had set its cave in my chest. He was gone. The only remainder of him was his lifeless body. Which wasn't Jackson. He was the funny guy, who would never shut up. Extremely social, nice and above all a great friend.

   But the most he was, was full of life and now he was gone.

***

   "Elizabeth? Is everything okay? You've been ignoring my messages." Parker voice said on the phone.

   Honestly, our occasional -- who am I kidding, our constant messaging was the last thing in my mind that week. First was the night in the hospital. None of us slept, we stayed there, in case Leah wanted to see us. She eventually let us in at the morning.

   It seemed like she hadn't sleep either. Her face looked as lifeless as Jackson's had. The pain evident in her face. She told us what happened, how they were involved. They were heading to Jackson's house. They were fighting. Jackson wanted to tell them what was going on between them, even if themselves didn't exactly know what it was.

   She didn't got into details. She said she loved him and how sorry she was she didn't have the opportunity to tell him.

   Then was the funeral, and seeing his parents. The only word I have for them was devastated.

   I couldn't bring myself to say sorry, "it's been a rough couple of days. One of my friends died in a car accident."

   "Oh, no. Where you with them?" He sounded worried.

   "No, he was alone with one of our other friends. She's okay." Leah wasn't really okay, maybe she was physically, but I doubted she would feel emotionally okay any time soon.

   "She must be feeling terrible." He understood. After a second he added, "Are you okay? Do you need company? I could drop by or we could meet somewhere."

   I took a minute to think about it. I've done my own share of moping around with Blake, Steph and Naomi. Leah preferred to be alone for a bit, and we let her. I didn't feel like an outsider here, we all cared for him, we all thought the accident that been unfair. He didn't deserve to die, no one does.

   I also thought about how I didn't need a Prince Charming to come to my rescue. Parker's imagine had been everything I've been dreaming about as a kid, all I wanted, and part of me growing up had been letting go of that. So much for being my own prince.

   Sometimes, we all need support, though. And letting someone in, doesn't mean that we have to completely rely on them. But sometimes, the situation is so hard that we need a shoulder to cry on, a friend to speak to. Someone to remind us that we aren't alone in our pain. That's it's okay to feel sad, and that everything will be okay in the end. If not, it's not end.

   And even though I perfectly knew death didn't have a solution, his company do would be nice.

   So I told him my address. And he came over.

***

   Leah finally reached out almost a week after the accident. I perfectly understood she had to deal with it alone first, cry, scream, be mad and maybe cry some more to be able to talk about it.

   She came to my apartment with red bloodshot eyes, her face swollen for all the crying. I hugged her as soon as she stepped through the door.

   We spent the whole evening talking about him. Their last time they had together, all the time he made us laugh. She talked about her pain. She talked about her hell of a week.

   "I honestly don't know how I'll get over this, Lizzie." She sighed. "It's not just heartbreak. He was my friend for way longer. And I saw him die."

   "I know."

   We were in silence for a long while. I prepared her hot chocolate. I hugged her crying self. We were laying on the couch, her back laying against me. Finding comfort in the friendly embrace.

   When she added, "do you know what's the worst thing?"

   Everything was quite bad, but I didn't say that. I just looked at her.

   "The last thing he said to me. Before the other car hit us." She stopped. "Was that he loved me."

--- my heart hurts, bye.