TEDDY BEAR ⎯ rucas

5

"I didn't mean to yell. I just... I wanted to tell you that it's not lame or pathetic that you have this picture of us still. Do you wanna know why?" I nodded softly.

"Because I have the exact same picture in my wallet. I carry it with me everyday."

I wasn't sure if time itself had physically stopped or if I was experiencing a heart attack because I couldn't breathe and everything around me stood still. Why would he carry a picture of us everyday? Shouldn't a picture of him and Faith bumped the picture of him and me out?

"Why?" Lucas looked at me and I could feel familiar feelings flooding back. He was put together and broken at the same time, yet I still had never seen such a beautiful man.

The blonde gingerly tucked a piece of hair behind my ear and let his hand linger on my cheek. Subconsciously I leaned into his touch and let myself enjoy it.

"Because I love you and I'll never stop loving you." At the sound of those words I removed his hand from my cheek and untangled my hand from his.

"No you don't. You love Faith now and whatever way you think love me, it's not the same. So please, let's not go down this path again," I said. Lucas didn't love me — not in the way that mattered at least —  and I couldn't handle hearing him constantly say something he clearly didn't mean.

"Why won't you believe me when I say I love you? Why can't you believe that I still care about you? And that I still want to be a part of your life? Or how—"

"Because you're marrying her!" The room fell silent. I had never raised my voice at Lucas — or anyone — before. I rarely got mad enough to lash out and resort to shouting.

Lucas was surprised as well. Throughout our entire relationship, I was the one who kept things together. I was the one who made sure things never got too heated or escalated too quickly.

I took a deep breath to collect myself and my thoughts. The blonde grabbed both of my hands and held them so tightly that I was afraid the blood circulation might have stopped. But I didn't care.

"You are getting married to someone else Lucas. Your life is going down a path that I'm never going to be a part of anymore. And maybe I'm not fully ready to deal with it right now but I'll learn to eventually. I care about you Lucas, I will always care about you. But you don't care about me in that way anymore and when you realize that, all of this can stop and we can move on with our lives." I hadn't realized there were tears falling from my eyes until Lucas started wiping them away. I was going to be okay. Maybe it would take a long time for me to be okay but I would get there eventually and that was all that mattered.

"Riley that's not true. You know it's not true. You're afraid to admit that I still love you because you're scared that someone actually cares for you."

"It doesn't matter at this point Lucas! I don't want it to be true because I'm not going to be responsible for whatever happens after this and I will not be the one who breaks up a relationship. So before either one of us does something we're going to regret, you should go home to your fiancé and tell her how much you love her and mean it. Mean every word you say." I stood up from my seat on the couch and walked towards the kitchen, leaning against the wall. We were dangerously close to making huge mistakes and I couldn't be the one to ruin Lucas's life.

"What if I don't want to go back?" My head snapped up at the question.

"Lucas... You have to. You love Faith, I know you do. Go home to her." As much as I wanted to be selfish and tell him he could stay and that I wanted him to stay, I wouldn't do that to someone I loved so much. Lucas had moved on and I couldn't be the one to hold him in a past he believed he wanted.