nightmare

to be ok again

He's a mess, tearing tracking down his cheeks and hair slicked down to his forehead with sweat. Percy can't stop his mind for reliving the scenes from Tartarus over and over. He pleas aloud for help, for it to just stop, for the memories and monsters to leave him alone. His cries are in vain, he sobs in the otherwise silent cabin.

And suddenly Jason is there, standing in the doorway, begging for some kind of explanation. "Percy! Percy, what's wrong?" Jason asks, running towards the dark haired boy and kneeling by his bed. The blond takes Percy's hand in his and repeats his question.

"i- I can't. I don't wanna be like this Jason. I cant do this. I cant take it." He says, his words are rushed together and Jason can hardly understand a word he's saying.

"Percy, you're alright. You're alright." Jaosn's voice is strong and sure, and percy accepts it as a lifeline. He begs himself to believe his friend, to trust in his words and know he's fine. But he doesn't feel fine. He feels like he's still trapped in Tartarus only this time he feels alone. This time it won't be ok. Now he's too scared to breathe. His body hurts now, heaving to breathe and he's shaking.

"no. no, it's not fine. I'm not fine. I won't ever be alright again. I-i..." percy can't bring himself to say more, and now he's just crying. Jason feels his heart break. He wants nothing more than to make everything ok for the older boy and to have Percy back- back to the way he was before Tartarus- but he can't.

"hey, I'm gonna hop into bed with you ok? Percy, I swear to the gods that I'll find a way to help, I'll do anything. But you've gotta tell me how you feel now."

The blond crawled into Percy's bed, which wasn't hard because Percy was curled up as small as he could get and that left quite a bit of extra bed room. The dark haired boy shuttered, wiping at his eyes. Jason kissed his hand experimentally, watching for a reaction. Percy just continued to cry, muttering about how afraid he was. Jason pulled back, as he did every time Percy broke down. The son of Zeus made a point to check up on Percy a few times a night to see how he was doing, and then if something happened he'd devote the rest of the night to taking care of the older boy. This was one of the worse nights, one where Percy couldn't breathe and couldn't think straight.

Percy reached out for his arm, holding onto Jason so tight it hurt. "please, jay, make it ok." Percy whispered. It was heartbreaking to see him so desperate, so scarred and hurt. Jason wrapped his arms around percy, pulling the shorter boy's back against his chest.

"breathe with me." Jason took a deep breath and percy copied him, Jason eld it for a second or two and then breathed out. Percy followed his lead, repeating the process with Jason a few times. Soon percy was able to keep up the rhythm on his own, breath steadying. "who are you?" Jason aksed calmly.

"percy, percy Jackson."

"who's your mom?"

"sally Jackson."

"where are you, Percy?" Jason asked, praying percy was calm enough to realize where he was, who he was with. Jason prayed that he'd be alright, because every night Jason has to worry he won't be able to calm Percy down, that the dark haired boy will hurt himself.

"here. With you. In camp half blood."

Jason smiled. "and you're going to be alright." Percy nodded, tears starting to stop.

"Jason, why do you do this?" the dark haired boy asked.

"do what?"

"take care of me? Bother with me when you have your own problems to worry about." The dark haired boy said. His eyes were bloodshot from all the crying he'd been doing, and his hair was disheveled, but he was perfect. jason couldn't understand how Percy could doubt why he was worth it, and couldn't find his voice to explain it.

He pressed his lips gently to percy's instead of replying.