Scattered light

Oil And Water

He pulls the shirt on, starting to work the buttons with those beautiful fingers, but I stop him, covering them with my own. I don't know what's gotten into me but I've been so affectionate these past few days, like the part of me that needed to touch and taste and smell another human being was repressed for years and now the dam is broken and I can't stop. My hands are on his shoulders, down his sides, on his neck, on his face; just feeling his skin and absorbing his presence as he giggles. I could do this for hours, could explore every inch of him countless times and never grow tired, but the vibrating phone between my thigh and his hip has other ideas.

I try to ignore it but Hinata pushes me lightly away, pulling the phone out for me and holding it up with a pointed look. I sigh, taking it from him and sliding the green button over the familiar face on the screen. "Hey Suga,"

"Kageyama! Where are you? What's going on? Hinata didn't tell me what happened and I've been worried sick," he stops to take a breath and I can hear Daichi's low voice in the background probably trying to calm him down.

I've been expecting this for a while now, ever since Hinata told me that he got directions to my hometown from Suga. "I'm fine, Suga. I'm at home. Hinata's here with me," I stop, hoping he can't tell from my tone what's going on between us, which also begs the question: what is going on between us?

"He made it? He came over super worried about you but wouldn't tell me why which made me worry too and, oh god, I've been such a mess," he pauses again, another familiar voice piping up behind him. "No I'm not going to ask him if he took your sweater, Oikawa, hush. You two are too loud I'm going in the other room."

I drop onto my bed and look up at Hinata who's just finishing buttoning the skinny jeans I pulled out for him as Suga moves through the hallway and closes a door behind him. The jeans fit perfectly and I almost laugh, imagining him standing next to a thirteen year old me and barely measuring up. "Okay, anyway, what's going on Kageyama?" Suga's voice pulls me back down, but my eyes linger.

"It's, uh, a long story," I answer, the heaviness of the last few days starting to settle back on me and washing away the short respite I found on Hinata's skin. "My mom called and told me to come down because dad had a heart attack. That's why I left so quickly. I didn't mean to worry you guys." That's only a half truth. I knew they'd be worried, I just didn't allow myself to think any farther than my own bubble of concern.

"No, no don't worry about it at all its fine. Is he okay? How's your mom?" How can he be so concerned over two people who treated him so poorly? People that I've spent the entire time I've known him trying to forget?

"Mom is doing alright I guess," I start, beating around the bush for no apparent reason. I watch as Hinata wrestles with the suspenders I gave him, smiling despite myself as he struggles with one hand behind his back and his tongue poking out of the corner of his mouth. "But dad, uh...dad passed two nights ago." I didn't expect the twinge I hear in my throat. "The funeral is on Monday, we should be home after that."

"Oh, Kageyama I'm so sorry. Are you okay? Do you want me to come for the funeral?" Hinata turns, finally latching the suspenders and taking a seat next to me. He lays his hand palm up on the comforter and I draw lazy circles on the pad with my fingertips.

"Suga, you only met him once and he was a dick to you,"

"Yeah but you-,"

"I appreciate it, really I do," I cut him off, not in the mood for one of his classic "I know deep down you really need me so just say the word" speeches, "but I think I can handle this one. Dad and I sort of...talked, about things, and mom and I have been getting along fine so there's not really any worry. Besides, Hinata is here." That sounded a bit harsh after it came out, like Hinata has replaced him which is so far from the truth.