Scattered light

Stories and Snowflakes

Notes:

If there's a god that could save me
I'd ask that he open the skies and do it now
But it's just a chemical,
I'm not a snake
I'm just falling apart again
Look at me, I'm sobbing like a child.

-Ludo

Chapter Text

I've only ever put real effort into one thing in my life; my music. Everything else was pushed to the back burner. In school I skated by with a small amount of natural skill and an affinity for bullshitting assignments; barely enough to earn me grades that were just passable so that my music portfolio could carry me on a college application.

Nothing ever interested me like music. I was uninspired, wandering in a world devoid of meaning until that day my dad bought me my first guitar, and from then on it was all I cared about. Math was too dull, writing was too difficult (I was anything but eloquent), and science definitely wasn't for me. I couldn't put any effort into those things because they were unimportant. I had no passion to drive me toward them.

The only time I felt alive was when I had a melody breathing fresh air into my lungs in time to the drum beat of my heart. Whether the notes were sweet or sour they were there and they were constant and I never had to fear being alone while they were with me.

That being said, I've been working extremely hard at my sign language lessons. I've done pretty well with the vocabulary, though I still get tripped up on grammar sometimes, but with Asahi being such a patient teacher I've improved greatly. Honestly this guy is too calm for his own good; sometimes it's a bit scary. I can understand why he does well working with children.

"So how's it been going with your friend?" Asahi asks as we're walking out of the rec center towards the parking lot. We had been working on my reading speed today, with him signing simple sentences at different speeds for me to get quicker with my comprehension. Hopefully I'll become good enough that Hinata won't have to sign slowly at me like I'm an idiot anymore (I am an idiot but that's beside the point).

"I- what?" I stutter, the mention of Hinata catching me off guard. Asahi watches me fumble over my fingers twice a week so I'm sure he doesn't need any more reason to think I'm a blubbering moron, but he should probably avoid speaking to me at all times since I'm prone to sentences like this that contain more "um" and "huh?" than actual words.

"Tooru said you were doing this for a friend," he chuckles. "They must be pretty special to you. I've never had a student that tried as hard as you do." His smile is warm and genuine, which only makes my cheeks flare up hotter than they normally would.

"Oh, uh, yeah. I'm doing it for my neighbor."

"Seems like a lot of trouble for someone who's just your neighbor," he muses, swiping his fingers across his cheek to push a fallen strand of hair behind his ear. Being the end of the day some of his hair has started to fall from its bun, framing his face nicely with the thick dark strands.

"We hang out sometimes," I mumble, kicking at some particularly interesting pieces of asphalt by my shoes.

"Ah, I see," he chimes. I don't look up because I can just hear that knowing smile that everyone seems to have on when asking me about Hinata in his voice. I understand Suga and Natsu doing it but there's no way Asahi is part of the secret "We Apparently Know More About Kageyama's Life Than He Does" club, right?

My thoughts are cut off by a telltale buzzing in my pocket. I fish out my phone and find Hinata's name flashing at me on the screen. Speak of the devil. Not that Hinata is a devil; he's more like a bunny, or an overly excited puppy.