That's My Girl // A Lady Gaga Fanfic

Chapter 1

I look at the date on my phone. August 16th 2020.  I know what that date is. Today is the 7th birthday of my little girl. The only problem is she's not here to celebrate with me. She's off with other parents. Better parents.

Nearly every day of my life I wish she could be back here in my arms, because truthfully I miss her so much. But I know I had to give her up for a reason, I just don't know if it was worth it.

I poured myself a glass of Jameson. I wasn't sure if it was out of celebration or pity. I drowned the drink in a couple of seconds. It was then followed by another followed by another.

Pity. I decided. I was feeling pity.

I sat back down on the couch and cried a bit. Then I finally pulled myself together and called her father.

"Hey Taylor." I lightly sobbed into the phone. "How are you holding up."

"Fine." He replied. He was obviously going a lot better than me.

"You're not too upset?" I ask, "Are you even upset at all?"

"Why should I be upset?" He asks.

"Taylor, it's August 16."

He doesn't say anything.

"Do you even know what that date is." I cry.

"Umm, I can't really say it rings any bells."

I start to cry more. I can't believe he doesn't know what today is. "Taylor, August 16 is the day Aingie was born."

"Oh right Angelina." He says like he just solved a puzzle.

"I can't believe you forgot. This is important Taylor." I say.

"Look Steff. I know it still hurts you but I have tried to move on with my life. I try not to dwell on it too much. Maybe you should try doing the same thing."

I can't believe what he is saying. He wants me to simply forget about my child.

"You know I kind of wish I didn't have to be so secretive about it. I kind of just want to tell the world. Let their words heal me. And let others know that they're not alone." I say.

"Well honestly Steff." He replies, "Maybe you have left this in the dark for too long. Maybe it's time to come clean. Take a weight off of your shoulders."

"You know what. I'm going to do it."

I hang up the phone and then get twitter out. I type a long post explaining what happened those 7 years ago. I knew my management would be very upset with me. But hey, this was my life not theirs.

'7 years ago when I was a few months away from finishing the monster ball I got a big shock. I looked down at the pregnancy test to see a positive result. It didn't quite feel real at first but it soon sunk in. I was pregnant. At the time I was in no place to raise a baby. I was in the midst of my booming career. And it was an unexpected shock. Not something I had been able to plan for. I didn't want to abort the baby. This may be because of my catholic upbringing but it just felt wrong. So I decided to go through with it and later put the child up for adoption. At the request of my management when I was no longer able to preform I disguised the ordeal as a hip injury and then disappeared until the baby was born. The baby was then given to a lovely gay couple who for obvious reasons were unable to have kids of their own. I miss her deeply and wish to be with her again. I hope that one day we may be able to reunite. But until then I will celebrate what would have been her 7th birthday alone.'

I post the message and hope for the best. It was always hard to send the deepest parts of yourself out into the world for all of them to judge. But sometimes it was incredibly healing. Not everyone in the world wanted to tear you apart.

I lay down and waited in anticipation of the feedback I was going to get. I didn't have to wait long before the results started rolling in.

I started to scroll through the messages.

Of course there were the ones telling me about how I was an awful person and how I shouldn't have gotten pregnant in the first place. But as I continued reading through the hate I found love.

Just as I expected there were people sharing with me their own stories. And people telling me to stay strong and I would one day get to see my baby again. As I read through messages of people thanking me for taking some of the stigma away I realise that it was right to do what I had done.

One comment grabbed my attention. 'What's stopping you from going and seeing her now.'

I realise I hadn't even thought about that. I still had the contacts of the family I gave her to and I felt like it was time she knew who her real mum was. Of course I would have to first make sure with the parents it was okay for her to know.

I went to sleep a little bit happier.

A/N

So here was the first chapter of this book.  I already have most of the book written so I will hopefully update regularly.  I hope you enjoyed it.  Tell me your thoughts on the first chapter.