The Hunger Games - Real

Repenting Lives Unknown

Prompt: Katniss and Peeta talk through her feelings on the train journey back from the Games.

A/N: This chapter is currently being re-written

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"We all play the game, and when we dare
To cheat ourselves at solitaire,
Inventing lovers on the phone,
Repenting other lives unknown,

Remember those who win the game
Lose the love they sought to gain
In debentures of quality
And dubious integrity."

'At Seventeen'
Janis Ian
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Haymitch startles me when he lays a hand on my back. In my distraction to find the words to broach the subject of the berries with Peeta, I hadn't heard his approach.

Even now, in the middle of nowhere, he keeps his voice down when he addresses us.

"Great job, you two. Just keep it up in the district until the cameras are gone. We should be okay."

He glances down at the wildflowers in my hands, the bouquet that Peeta had gathered for me minutes earlier, and his face sets in a somber line. I realise he's leaving me to explain his comment to Peeta. The berries and the looming threat of the Capitol. Our fake romance.

A glance at his face reveals such a look of pity for the boy with the bread that I want nothing more than to take Peeta's hand in my own and kiss him, declare that not all of it had been an act after all, and march back into the train carriage and away from his pitiful gaze. But that wouldn't be fair, because I really don't know how much was real, and instead I settle on clutching my wildflowers tightly.

I watch him head back to the train, avoiding Peeta's eyes.

"What's he mean?" Peeta asks me.

His voice sounds genuinely confused with a hint of curiosity, almost as if he expects me to share his confusion. Because we're a team, I think to myself. Because teams don't keep secrets from one another.

"It's the Capitol," I blurt out, not entirely sure of what I'm saying myself. "They didn't like our stunt with the berries."

"What? What are you talking about?" he says, and I finally tear my gaze away from the grass long enough to look at him.

All trace of the [].

"It seemed too rebellious. So Haymitch has been coaching me through the last few days. So I didn't make it worse," I say.

"Coaching you?" Realisation begins to dawn on Peeta's face "But not me..."

If I don't say something now, I'll lose him. I know I deserve this.

"He knew you were smart enough to get it right," I tell him.

I know what he's going to answer before he even opens his mouth.

"I didn't know there was anything to get right," says Peeta. "So, what you're saying is, these last few days and then I guess... back in the arena... that was just some strategy you two worked out."

"No. I mean, I couldn't even talk to him in the arena, could I?" I stammer.

"But you knew what he wanted you to do, didn't you?" says Peeta. I bite my lip. "Katniss?" He drops my hand and I take a step, as if to catch my balance.

"It was all for the Games," Peeta says. "How you acted."

I tell myself it's better this way, to have him gone. That way the Capitol may be merciful to him.