Turning Tables ~ GakuKaru (Boy x Boy)

Chapter 8

GAKUSHUU'S POV

God damn him...

God damn it all!

Teeth clenched, muscles rigid, chest ridden with an unbelievably tight feeling, Gakushuu stormed through the streets with no intent to hide the frustration and rage he was currently feeling.

Fucking Akabane...is he not grateful that I have decided to do this for him? That I am willing to give him what he needs for the small price of being by my side?

He just didn't understand.

Why do I care so much anyways? Why am I so desperate to dominate him like this when I could just leave him be and allow him to spiral downwards, thus leaving me on top?

Of course, that would be no fun. But being Number One at all is better than being Number Two through any circumstance, be you weak or strong.

So why am I keeping him afloat? Why do I feel hurt by his perspective of me? He's not wrong. Not by any means.

If the photo is mine, so is he.

I am shallow.

There is no 'us.'

Just 'me.'

That is what has been made clear from the very beginning; the moment he came into possession of that photo was the moment he bound Karma to him and robbed him of his free will in the matter.

Even though he hadn't yet touched him properly as he desired to, what he sought out to do had already been done from the start.

He'd dominated the notorious Akabane Karma.

So why wasn't he satisfied? Why wasn't he with Karma right now, unleashing every single one of his pent-up fantasies on the redhead that he so wholesomely craved? He had the consent. He had the means. And yet, here he was, walking away from the subject of his desires and into a cloud of hurt and confusion.

What was he expecting? For Karma just to fall head over heels for a guy that was taking advantage of him and his situation? Gakushuu just didn't understand what he wanted anymore. He didn't understand any of these feelings of uncertainty and frustration.

So all he could really do for now was take all of that pent up pressure out on his left hand, his imagination wandering not to completely and wholly dominating the only true equal he'd ever found in this godforsaken school, but to seeing the red-haired male smile genuinely up at him, pleasure and love evident in his eyes and the tender way he held Gakushuu's sweat-slick body to his.

Somehow, that night, he'd achieved the most satisfying orgasm that he'd ever had in a while. But he didn't want to admit it. He didn't want to admit that it wasn't dominance or control over someone that he wanted this time, but to be accepted and wanted mutually by a person he viewed as equal.

Gakushuu was a proud, upstanding Asano. He was raised to force things to go his way and see other people as inferior and submissive.

That was the way things were to be, yet here he was, wanting someone who was supposed to be below him to see him for something he couldn't have. To give him the unconditional love that he knew he wasn't supposed to be able to give back.

God, I'm a fool, he found himself admitting. Here I was, acting like I could and would do anything to him that I liked, yet I couldn't even accept it when he acknowledged it too.

He groaned, slinging his arm over his eyes as he collapsed down onto his bed after cleaning up the evidence of his 'alone time' in his bedroom.

As he laid there, he wondered what exactly Karma was doing now, how he was feeling and whether he would want anything to do with him if he asked if they could try this whole thing again. The answer would most likely be no. Gakushuu doubted he would even want anything to do with himself in Karma's place.

Maybe this wasn't love quite yet. Perhaps he was merely infatuated. Perhaps what he wanted was to know him better, rather than control him.

Nonetheless, he couldn't help but feel confused by these feelings, both sensations that he was unused to. He had no idea what to do or where to turn now. But, at the very least, he knew what he wanted.

~~~

The next school day, he walked with purpose to Karma's house.

But for the first time, he had almost no idea what to do. Fuck. How do I make sure I don't come off as imposing to him? Maybe I should just ask politely and it'll work out...

When the door opened a short while after he knocked to reveal red hair and golden eyes, he already found the words he had so meticulously prepared over a few seconds being flushed down the drain.

"Karma."

"Asano."

For the most part, Karma didn't seem to be too mad about anything. His face was set in its usual carefree look, staring him in the eye as if he didn't  fear even his own death. It was the usual thing, so Gakushuu relaxed ever so slightly.

Okay, now just ask him as if he were any other person...

Raising a finger to the redhead's face, as if accusing him, Gakushuu said, with the valiance and charm of a dictator, "Walk to school with me, Karma."

"...okay--"

Shit, shit, shit, shit, shit--

"N-No, what I meant to say was...w-would you like t-to take a stroll with me?"

"Gakushuu, you're talking in English."

This was definitely not going according to plan.

But, luckily, before he could panic, Karma checked the time on his phone and let out a small 'hm.' "Come on, we're almost late. We wouldn't want that dad of yours lording that over our heads now, would we?"

Closing the door behind him, Karma quickly grasped onto Gakushuu's hand and pulled him along the street as he fast-walked in the direction of Yukigaoka High School. It was a pace much, much faster than the strawberry blonde was used to, but with years of athletic experience under his belt, he managed to keep up.

It was sudden, but his hand had started to feel clammy and his heart rate increased significantly. He liked to think that it was because of the exercise, but Karma's hand was so soft.

And for once, what he thought about wasn't feeling this hand clenched in his hair or wrapped around his cock, but being able to hold it while walking to school all the time.

Inwardly, he cursed himself, face turning red. What exactly have I dragged myself into?

WELL. THIS WAS FUCKING LATE.

Sorry guys. Long story short, lots of personal shit happened in real life. Hope you understand.

Anyways, fuck means sex and sex means love, so fuck you all and have a great day/night. (yee I remembered it)

~ Moire ~