Street (Urban Fiction)

Chapter Twenty Nine

"I've already said my goodbyes, and Mario and I were really close, so there's nothing I regret not having the chance to tell him, but for the sake of tonight I'll share this: who I am today is a turtle-a beautiful strong one guys!" She defended when some people laughed. She rolled her eyes with a smile and continued, "Anyways, who I am today is a turtle that outgrew the shell I had crawled into after my dad's death. Mario installed baby monitors in our rooms and he'd come rushing in at the slightest whimper. Like, they were some hi def ass monitors guys, he heard everything. I was scared to cough because he'd wake up and come rushing into my room.

He was my shoulder even though he needed a shoulder too. He made me want to be as strong as he was. I was able to become the person I am today because of who he was and truthfully, I'm scared to continue on without him, but I know that's not what he'd want."

The crowd nodded in agreement. Some people sent reassuring smiles in her direction while others patted her on the back. "You got it, Becky!" Someone screamed from the crowd.

"I'm Hispanic dummy," she responded after laughing.

"You got these niggas fooled, but I see through that shit." My head snapped in the direction of Trey's voice. "You think you slick. You bet I couldn't fuck Vicki, which I did, then yo ass gon go to Cuba with Tupac. I want my damn money. Oh, and we may be cool and all, but you ain't gotta visit me. Don't be messin' with my pots in the kitchen and don't be turnin' off my lights either. I know how yo goofy ass is. You probably in heaven cuttin' the fuck up."

I shook my head. Trey was the only person that wouldn't think twice before saying something like that.

That's yo damn friend, I thought. Matter fact, I don't even know how the hell you guys became friends. I'm glad you guys did though, because that's how I met you. Wait, I don't even know if I'm glad I met you, to be honest. I'm a fucking mess.

I was about to run a hand through my hair when I remembered just how long it took me to get those damned curls, so I started wringing my hands instead. There were times when Trey pointed out I was doing that and I wasn't aware of it, but I was aware of it then. It just brought me comfort.

I'm a fucking mess and the only way I know how to move on from this is by blocking you out, but I don't want to. And that damn voicemail, I groaned internally. You don't listen Mario. Now that's all people hear when they call you. You know, it's not even the memories we actually shared that hurt the most, but the ones I created for us. Memories I created of a future with you. Markarisha was starting to grow on me a little. I'll say sorry now for the path I'm about to go on. And I can't genuinely say I'll see you in heaven one day because I honestly don't know what I believe in and where I'll end up. I just really miss you. It's not fair. I-

"Risha?"

"Huh?" I looked up confused. All eyes were on me and I wasn't quite sure why. "Um..."

"It's your turn," Maria said with a smile.

"I..." My turn? I didn't volunteer to go. I said everything in my head already. Even if there was more to say, I definitely wouldn't have said it in front of everyone. "I, um, miss you." I played with the hem of my romper, avoiding everyone's gaze. I was met with silence. Well damn. I glanced up shyly. I was suddenly feeling out of place. I met Trey's curious eyes briefly before bringing my attention to Maria, silently begging her to move on, but she completely misunderstood.

Instead, she stood up and walked towards me. "It's ok Karisha, take your time." Her eyes darted to the necklace that hung around my neck and her smile broadened. "We're all family here and trust me, I know it's hard, but the idea is to get everything off your chest and let the wind carry it to him."