Finding Beauty In Negative Spaces

Chapter 4

So me and Hasley are hanging out today. It's the guys day off and they are all hanging out doing whatever. Me and her are going shopping.

"I'll get ready in a minute" I whined. I didn't want to get up. I don't know why but it just felt kinda weird being a girls day. I've gotten used to having the guys around. Alan pestering me and Austin following me around making sure I'm okay. Man I love him but he is so protective. Sometimes it's annoying. But he is only doing it because he cares about me.

I finally got up and went to get dressed. Just throwing on some black ripped up skinny jeans and a camo tshirt with my black vans. I threw my hair up in a pony tail. Threw on some mascara and that's it. 

I grabbed my black crossover bag and my phone. Hasley looked good like always. Wearing a high-waisted black skirt and a black tank top tucked in with some black vans on. She had a black and white checkered flannel tied around her waist. Her hair was up in a bun. God I'm so jealous. I always kind of have been. She is so good. Never gets in trouble. She is adorable and guys always check her out. I mean she says she is jealous of me but I don't see why.

"Oh looking hot are we" I teased and she threw a pillow at my fave and I laughed at her.

"Okay princess we can go now" I laughed.

-2 hours later-

So Hasley went to the bar the guys were at while I went back to the bus. I was on the couch in the front lounge when the door opened and Austin walked in.

"Hey why are you back so early" I questioned without looking at him. To be honest I think I'm falling for him. But I'm falling for Alan too and I can't have that.

" Just wasn't feeling it today" He said as he walked past me and crawled into his bunk.

I rolled my eyes. God. I can't leave him to mope. I guess I'll help him out.

I walked over and opened his curtain. His eyes were bloodshot and puffy.

"Hey what's wrong honey. You know you can talk to me" I said soothingly.

"It's just........ It's nothing" he said and started tearing up again.

"Austin tell me" I said. I honestly couldn't bare to see him like this.

"It's just... I saw something and it pisses me off and made me really upset. It was about you. I saw you with Hasley and this guy. He had his arm around you. He was all over you and he clearly wanted you" he said getting angrier by the second.

"Why does it matter to you" I said defensively.

He got out of his bunk and stepped closer to where I could smell his breath.

"It is my business because I actually give a fuck about you Aldey. My fucking bad okay? My bad that I have a thing for you. That I care so much about you. And when  I saw that guy all over you I just wanted to rip his head off and use it as a bowling ball. My fucking bad" he spat at me.

I can't believe this.

" One don't get rude with me. How was I supposed to know that you understand a thing for me okay" I yelled.

I was getting mad. I walked to the back lounge. He grabbed my wrist and turned me around.

"Your not going to walk away from this like you do everything else. You can not look me in the eyes and say you don't feel something for me because I know it you do" he said and looked me dead in the eye.

I looked in his eyes. Those eyes I get lost in everytime. But I can't. I can't do this. Not again. 

"Austin. I do have feelings for you all right. I do. But I also feel something for Alan. I do. I can't help it. Please" I confessed and he pushed me up against the door.