The girl behind the camera

Chapter 1|| Goodbyes and hello's

Everything I did, I did it because I loved what I was doing, what I had been capturing. I'll admit it, I did a lot of things a shouldn't have. But I had to find a way to get my work, my passion, my feelings, my love out, out into the world. Right before my grandpapy past away, he said to me "Don't ever stop doing what you love, even if it means giving up everything else to make you happy. Just make sure it's what you want." those were his dying words to me. I worshiped my grandpapy, he was an amazing artist, cook, singer and most of all, he was an amazing grandfather.

You guys might be wondering where this all started, or even just why I'm talking about my grandpapy. Let me start at the beginning...

Hi, my name is Jessie, and before you even ask if you can call me Jess, no you can not call me Jess. Only my grandpapy called me that. I'm pretty much the only persons in my town that actually likes living here. I love the art, the culture more specifically, I love the fact that there is so many opportunities to take photos. If you can't already tell, I'm a photographer. I thrive to take photos any chance a get. Everyone here thinks I'm either mental, stupid or retarted for wanting to actually live here... I'm not I swear, I just have a thing for looking at what other people would call down falls as opportunities. Yea I know, I'm special like that.

I hate opening up to people, I just don't trust anyone. Especially after what happened last time a tried opening up to someone I thought I could trust... I'll get into that later. I don't really have any friends, I mean I used to. They moved away two years ago, when I was 14 years old. She moved in next door to me when we were 5 years old. Her dad had gotten a job offer in Los Angeles. He couldn't pass the offer up, her mom had just been diagnosed with cancer, and they couldn't afford the surgery with what he was making in our town... so they moved. And I have never seen her since that day. It's been two years, and things just keep getting worse each and every day. The pain just keeps creeping up on me more and more every single day. It's beating on me like a drum.

I can't tell anyone about my home life... it's sort of really complicated. I'll let you on in a little secret though. My mother just past away one month ago. Me and my mother were really close, like sister kind of close. I trusted her with everything. And I mean everything. I guess she just got caught up in making sure that me and my twin brother were alright, that she forgot to take care of herself... I miss her every day. I miss the way she laughed, the way she would tell me to go to bed when I was on the phone with my best friend that moved away, I missed the way she would kiss me good night before she would make sure that me and my brother were sleeping before she cried herself to sleep... I knew the reason she did that was because of me and my brothers father. He had left her when he found out that she was pregnant at the age 19. He left her without saying goodbye. She didn't want me and Hunter (my brother) to know who he was. She didn't want us to find out, but of course, because I don't listen very well, I did find out who he was. I knew pretty much everything about him. When my mother past, the hospital asked who he was and were we was living. To be honest I didn't want to live with him, I knew that's why they wanted to know about him. But instead I suggested that me and Hunter live with my grandpapy. Child services said that it was possible as long as my grandpapy was ok with it... so I phoned him and with no surprise, He kindly replied "it would be my honour my dear Jess"