Never Let Go [on hold]

Chapter One [Edited 1.18.2020]

"Mommy, can I have some Lucky Charms please?" the voice of my four year old brought me back to reality and I smiled softly at her and brushed my hand through her soft curls.

"Of course sweetheart." I grabbed the box of Lucky Charms and put some more in her bowl. She grinned and observed her cereal before separating it with her hands. "Where's the good stuff?" she inquired. I looked at her and sighed. "Lily, you don't eat cereal with your hands sweetheart." I wiped her fingers with a small towel and she pouted.

"Where are the charms?" she asked again, and I shrugged.
"They should be there." I said before opening the box and taking out only charms. After I got about ten, I put them in her bowl and she smiled at me.

"Thanks momma!" she got ready to dive into her bowl again when I slid it out of her reach.

"Nuh-uh" I gave her a knowing look.

She slumped slightly and grabbed her spoon and held it in my face mockingly.

"Better" I smiled at her before sliding the bowl under her chin again. She smiled and then started eating again.

"Hello Lily, how's my little flower?" my brother came down and bent down to give Lily a good morning kiss. She giggled and smiled at her uncle, showing off a charm-full smile. I groaned at the sight.

"I'm great Uncle Liam!" she chirped while giggling uncontrollably.

"Eat your food Lily" I sighed. I was tired and it was only 8:00 in the morning. I still had to drop her at daycare and then go to work. Nodding, she focused on finishing her cereal and I headed to our bedroom to grab her bag. Once I packed her stuff, I grabbed my purse and brought them downstairs. Seeing my daughter putting on her shoes, I grabbed her coat and slung it over my arm. "Come on Lily, it's time to go"

Hopping over, she took her coat and put it on, waved goodbye to Liam and ran out the door. Bidding my brother goodbye, I held my daughters hand and walked her to the daycare that was a couple of blocks away from our house. After I dropped her off, I checked my phone and sighed when I saw the time. 8:30. I was going to be late.

I hurried to my office and set my bags down. Greeting my coworkers, I sat in my office and stretched. I glanced around the room and smiled. Being a therapist was fun. I enjoyed helping kids with their problems and issues. I slipped off my coat and looked at my schedule. It was going to be a long day.

* * *

After work was finished I locked the office and headed to the daycare to pick up Lily. After ten minutes, I reached and saw her waiting at the front door with her face pressed up against the glass. Smiling, I shook my head and walked up to her. When she saw me her face brightened. "Momma!" she exclaimed before running to me and hugging my legs. I smiled and picked her up before walking inside the building and signing her out.

"How was your day sweetheart?" I asked while holding her backpack.

"It was good, except Johnny kept on being mean to me." she scrunched up her face at the mention of him.

"Oh yeah?" I raised an eyebrow at her. "What did he do?"

"He took all of my crayons and wouldn't give them back!" she huffed angrily. "Then he took my paper and colored all over my pony." I stayed silent before looking at her. "Anthony said that if a boy is mean, then he likes you." She wrinkles her nose and looks up at me. "But Johnny still picks his nose, he's a baby" she rolls her eyes and I chuckle.

"It doesn't matter if a boy likes you or not Lily." I grasp her soft hand a little tighter. "Never let someone be mean to you, there is never an excuse for that." I look at her piercing blue eyes, and smile. "Always stand up for yourself ok flower?" The nickname flows off my tongue and she grins, displaying a row of teeth with one missing and nods.

Buckling her in the car, I make sure she's set before settling myself in the drivers seat. I start the car and put on Lily's favorite song. Coincidentally, it happened to be a song that I knew well to heart. It was the song played at Noah's and I's wedding. Falling in Love at a Coffee Shop by Landon Pigg filled the air and Lily hummed the tunes as best as she could. My heart tug slightly but I ignored it.

Four years ago, Noah made his choice and gave me none but one. To pick myself up and build a life for myself. For Lily. And I did, not looking back once. I put everything I had into Lily, working all the way until the day my water broke, and working and mothering Lily even after she made her way into the world.

"Momma, we need more ice cream." My daughter's voice brings me out of my trance and I raise an eyebrow at her.

"Lily! I just bought a tub a few days ago, don't tell me you've finished it."

She shakes her head, her curls bouncing and hitting her softly in the face. "Nope, Aunt Caroline ate it."

Now that was plausible. Caroline was 7 months pregnant, and her food cravings have both exhausted and infuriated Liam. Lily was only cross because she kept sneaking her ice cream and finishing it before she could even have a couple bites.

"Your aunt Caroline needs to watch her sugar intake." I grin at Lily and she shrugs.

"She said she's pregnant so she can eat anything." she fiddles with her fingers before looking up at me. "Can you tell her not to eat my ice cream?"

My eyes freeze at the thought of telling my sister in law to not eat my daughter's ice cream. Caroline was relentless. I have told her before, only for her to feel conscious about her weight and burst into tears. They were gone by nightfall, when I found her finishing up Lily's ice cream. "How about this, we'll keep them in the small fridge in my room." I tell my daughter and her eyes light up at the idea of finally being able to have her own dessert for once. We pull up to the store and I get my daughter out of the car seat.

I opened the door to the grocery store and let her walk in front of me. Immediately, she headed towards the ice cream section and I grabbed a crate before following her. She grabbed a box of the ice cream sandwiches before shoving it towards me. "I want this one" I put it in my box before grabbing her hand and walking towards the cereal section. Distracted, I didn't notice the man in front of me and I walked straight into him, with Lily bumping into me.

Her shriek of surprise immediately brought my attention to her. "Are you okay sweetie?" I crouched to her level and ran my fingers over her forehead making sure she didn't bump it.

"I'm fine momma" she said whilst staring at the man behind us. I stood up and looked at him, ready to apologize when I saw who it was.

Noah.

Not giving him another look, I grabbed my daughter's hand and walked away from him, ignoring his calls. Forgetting our other items, I walked up to the cashier and quickly bought the ice cream. Grabbing the bag, I held Lily's hand in my other one and we walked out the door.

"Leelah!" his voice rang out and I ignored him again.

"Leelah" it came more forcefully and he sounds closer.

I quickly unlocked the car and settled my daughter in. I look up to see him several feet away and my breath catches. He was the same, his eyes the same piercing blue my daughter had, his black hair a mess as if he ran his hands through it without caring too much. I quickly make way to the drivers seat and open the car door and shut it, locking it effectively as he approaches the car. Not giving him a glance, I set the car in reverse and back up out of the parking lot.

"Who's that momma?" Lily clutches the ice cream in her hand possessively and I shake my head, trying to control my breathing before looking at her in the rearview mirror.

"I don't know sweetheart." I said to her. And it was true. I didn't know Noah, he had died to me when he kicked me out. So whoever was standing there in the parking lot, I didn't know him.

And I didn't have any desire to.

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