Accustomed to Absence

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"Sidney this is Kaden. Kaden this is Sidney." I introduced. They shook hands.

"Please have a seat." Sidney asked. We did. Kaden grabbed my hand and smiled at me. His lips barely turned up, but I recognized it as a smile.

"So Kaden, tell me about yourself." Sidney said. I remembered her saying the same thing when I met her.

"I'm a bad person. I been through shit you only hear about on the news. Ion speak on none of that no more. It is what it is." Kaden shrugged.

"I think I know the same about you as I know about global warming. Not a damn thing other then it's bad. Come on I need some real facts." Sidney said. Kaden looked at me surprised. I laughed, and he turned back to her. I squeezed his hand a little, comforting him.

"When I was little my dad used to beat my mom. I don't have a memory of him not being belligerent. When I was 15, he beat her so bad, she finally got enough, she shot him. He died. She got arrested. I ain't have no siblings or nothing. My family had shut us all out when she married the bastard. I ended up at a group home. Shit only got worse from there." He shrugged like none of this was affecting him.

"Are you mad at her?" Sidney asked. Kaden tensed up.

He shook his head, "Mad ain't even the word."

"What do you feel?"

"I hate that bitch. She was weak. She ain't do shit when he was beating her ass. She wouldn't have shot him if I wouldn't have given her the gun." Kaden said.

"Where'd you get the gun?"

He looked at her like she was trippin.

"Found it." He stated.

"You hate your mom for not fighting back, so why don't you hate Kaia? Did she fight back?" Sidney asked. Kaden looked at me. He had tears in his eyes.

He nodded, "That's why I love her so much. The fight in her is so strong."

I smiled. He kissed my forehead.

"Kaia why are you still with Kaden?" Sidney asked.

"He was the first dude to see my worth... the first to treat me like his royalty. My dad disappeared without a second thought, and my brother hated me from the moment I exited the courtroom." I explained.

"I saw her that day in the courtroom and I fell in love. I had never felt love before then, but when I saw Kaia, I knew exactly what love was, and I knew I wanted to give her that." Kaden explained.

"Do you remember that feeling Kaia?" Sidney asked. They both looked at me...

I nodded. Yes, I remembered.

I remembered feeling that way when Josiah pointed that gun in Kaden's face. That was love. That was the only real love any man had ever shown me.

I let Kaden's hand go. They both watched me in confusion.

"I never experienced love at first sight, but I do know love. I love Josiah. He gives love a meaning, and he gives life a purpose. I just have a hard time showing him that sometimes. I wanna be with him... if it kills me."

Kaden starred at me in disbelief. I kissed his cheek before leaving the room. I left in a hurry, not sure if I would get out of the building alive.

I did.

I made it to Josiah's house. I banged on the door until it was opened to reveal Karly. She looked at me with an annoyed expression on her face.

"What do you need?" She asked.

"Move bitch." I mumbled pushing past her. I walked up the stairs with her following behind me yelling threats and shit. I ignored her. I opened Josiah's bedroom door to see him playing the game.

"Hoe can you not hear me? Are you dumb hoe?" She yelled. I turned around and smiled at her before slapping the shit out of her. She grabbed her face looking at me with wide eyes. Josiah laughed out loud. She looked at him.

"Snipe!!!" She yelled.

"Karly can you give us a second. She won't be long." He shrugged. She glared at me before walking out.

"Jo-"

"What the fuck you want?" He demanded.

"I was dead in the middle of a therapy session with Kaden and he was telling the counselor how I gave love a meaning to him, and then my time to respond comes and I realize something..." I paused looking him in his eyes.

"Get to to the point." He requested.

"Kaden didn't give love a meaning for me. You did. You were there for me. You were willing to go all the way for me. You cared enough to convince me to get help. I'm in love with you, Josiah. I'm not in love with Kaden."

Josiah stared at me silently. He clapped his hands.

"So now you expect me to drop everything and open my arms so you can run into them and declare everything a happily ever after?" Josiah asked. Tears filled my eyes.

"Why not?" I asked.

He shook his head.

"I grew accustomed to your absence. Baby girl it's gone take a lot more than 'I'm in love with you' to get Josiah to fuck with you."

I nodded.

I knew exactly how to win him over.

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