The Truth

Blue

These testaments were written: December 26th, 2016.

Blue is in all ways me... or at least my past. As a child, I was very different than I am now. Back then I was... not your average kid. I was pushy, ignorant, extroverted, impolite, greedy, selfish, and emotional. Literally the worst kind of person. As for my color choice... it's because as a child, I was a Sonic fan. You know? Blue hedgehog? Spiky hair? Well, I don't blame you if you don't know of him. In his later years his popularity has sunk due to his recent games. But I'm getting off track. The reason I mention this is because the ORIGINAL Sonic the Hedgehog was the first game I ever played. Which gave me an immediate affection for the blue blur. But that and that alone was anough to make the color dark blue my favorite color for all eternity! I remain loyal to the color to this day. Me and the color blue have a connection so strong that if someone had two buttons in front of me and one was blue and the other was red, I would pick blue every time. Even if that same someone said the blue button would kill me and the red gave me a billion dollars, you best bet I would hit the blue. Off track! Sorry! Anyway, thats why blue is my color, thats that. But in time the color proved better and better, but I  won't get into that. As you see, by the other chapters, I use colors to characterize the people I know. But back in my past, my mind was so out of control that I couldn't even remember colors at times. But in my past I wasn't the most stable person. For one, back then I couldn't even feel pain correctly. I would sit on my legs in kindergarten until they enflamed in a purple envoy and even then I didn't feel it. The teacher would have to force me to sit on my ass only for me to go back onto my legs again. I can remember in first grade when I got upset I would hide in the corner of the classroom bathroom. I kept doing it and eventually the teacher just left me in there. I would even talk to the floor, as if it was someone I knew my entire life. But to be more accurate my vision wasn't the best and I was talking to really fast lines I saw on the checkered floor. I know its weird but that's the only way I could describe them. They comforted me when no one else would. They didn't even talk back. They didn't need to. Back then my friends were... limited. But I don't blame them, I was a terrible person. But back then, I did blame them. I didn't have a very high mental capacity. I had first grade twice because my mother thought I needed it. But they were going to continue pushing me forward, which made me wonder what could have been. But I have no regrets. I mean that. Even though at that time, only two of my friends didn't leave me behind. But now I still know both of them, ones an acquaintance now and the others a bitch... to be frank. But that second year of first grade led me to meet my first true girlfriend, who if you read these in order, will realize as to be Orange. Second grade I met my true best friend, who in the next chapter you will find out to be Green. Third, fourth, and fifth grades were as unstable as first was though. Most of elementary school I felt out of place. That is my truth, one of many. I was a year older than everyone else accept the two I mentioned earlier. I wen't to special classes and a therapist for my brothers abusive actions. But we are over that now, at least. Again, I have no regrets. The special classes got me to meet a very special teacher in my heart. She taught me far more than any other teacher, and is also probably the reason I write like this in the first place. I had her years three through five. She even let me take the finals in her room away from the other kids I was so unstable with. But I forgot one more special someone from my past, and thats Lime. For some odd unknown reason on the first day of my second year of first grade, I called him out as my cousin and he just went with it! There is no person who was quite like him, and the fact that he eccepted me as I was at that time... It was truly special. But as you will see in his chapter, we drifted apart... As years passed things changed. In middle school I didn't recognize anybody except maybe a few. When I first got there all the new students met in the lunch room and I couldn't find my friends, so I sat at a table with a bunch of strangers who didn't speak to me. I didn't speak to them either. The teachers started calling out home rooms and who was in them. When I was called I stood up to leave, and I look back. I see my friends in the back corner, all of them waving at me. I wave back in glee, I was so happy to see them again. I will never forget that part of that day. Unfortunately, all my classes that year were only filled with strangers, and I slowly became dim and quiet without even realizing. I saw my friends at lunch still, and halfway through the year I started seeing them in the mornings in the gym. But as for classes, never. Towards the beginning of the year a girl I didn't even know asked why I was so quiet. That was the day I realized it. I tried to reach out more but I will admit it was hard. That year I met one more person I grew to like. My guitar teacher. But he was cool and easy to talk to. So it was easy to gain him as a friend in the three years I went to his class. It was ironic though, because I sucked at guitar. His class was hard at times because he also has an angry side. One of those days he got so mad that he almost stopped our class from actually playing guitar, but he asked if anyone had any ideas to fix the problem. No one raised there hand out of cowardess. But about ten seconds in I did after pushing down my fear. He was happy about it, and so were the other students. I became a bit more popular after that. I couldn't believe I did it actually. After all, at that time I was becoming introverted. Which would be only one of the many qualities that will change in me. My guitar teacher really respected me for that act and its what led us to become friends and he even visited our table at lunch every once in awhile. But I think my brother being in his class only a year before helped too. Heheh... Anyway, I had special classes like I did in elementary school. I was growing to despise them though, because at that time I was just realizing its the core and proof of my ignorance. But these classes lead to four friends I still have today, but they won't be mentioned much in this book except for two, who will be Neon and Plum. In my next year of middle school, seventh grade, someone I thought I would never see again showed up. That would be Purple. Along with him came three more friends! Brown, Wood, and Yellow. My friends grew a lot that year and with them came complication. First, I met Brown. He was a short blonde kid with low self esteeme. I met him through my group, who at the times leader was Lime. But he was starting to struggle, and we lost him in eighth. I was his replacement I think? Second was Wood, who was a guy I met in one of my non-core classes when I noticed he shared one of my interests. In the book he looked at so focused, were pokemon cards. It was a collecters album. I discided to go over and talk to him. We hit it off and we've been friends ever since. Last but not least, thier was Yellow. I repeated the same cousin thing with him as I did with Lime, and it still worked! But at least we had the same last name. But I was doing something more and more in that time. I was lieing, deceiving, and even at a point stealing. But I am past that bad life and the greed I told you of. I just hope my friends are as well. It kept growing this way until I hit high school. But my greed in belief came from my poor life and my jealousy and selfishness. At the time I got a DS. Something ninety percent of our group had. As I wanted more I became better at making deals to get better DS games for my bad ones. It sounds stupid but I feel terrible for every sin from my life. My eighth year of middle school was probably the most boring and painful, considering I was too stupid and hardheaded to change. But in high school I truly thought I was starting to redeem myself to my friends, family, and god. But tragedy struck me hard. But honestly, I deserved it. Again, no regrets. My life couldn't be better now. But I will admit... only one other year was as painful as that one. The year father left, but back to the first tragedy... This tragedy was very powerful, and I am truly grateful for it. Because it is what truly changed me for good. After that year would be this one, which the story of it is still being written, but I've already been given a gift far too great for me. But lets save the highschool story's for the other chapters.