The Angel with Papery Wings [prequel]

ch.9 Can you say it?

Sam knew where I was looking. She knew I wanted her in every way possible. But there was something about her that made me nervous.

"Do you want to touch it?" she purred, close to my ear Her lips nibbled on my ear lobe. I nearly came right then and there.

I nodded "yes," trying not to seem too desperate.

"Say it," she urged. I blinked in confusion.

"I want you," I spoke up. 

"Tell me what you want," she hissed, tuged at a handful of my curls. I gulped hard, staring at her eyes.

"I want to finger you," I told her bluntly, just like she wanted.

"Is that all?" she winked.

I grabbed Sam by her shoulders and softly, but urgently slammed her down on one of the benches between the shower stalls. She spread her legs for me immediately. I sorta wished she would have been a bit shy about it. I wanted to have coaxed her into it. That would have been sexier.

I knelt down on the bench with my legs on either side. My butt felt weird against the cold metal, but I ignored it. Instead, I focused on the naked woman in front of me. Sam  casually wove her fingers through my hair and tuged my head lower. I let my hands grip her inner thighs, rubbing up and down in small circles. She bucked her hips slightly, as if eager for more. 

My hands weren't that big, but her thighs were frail, so I was able to grab a handful. 

"Harry, you're such a tease," Sam sighed in disapointment. She grabbed my hand and tugged it to her core. She literally shoved my fingers inside her.  "Oooh, that feels nice," she winked.

I leaned down closer, determined to make her feel as good as she made me feel when she gave me head. I slid my fingers inside her carefully, feeling along her moist walls, but she didn't feel all too tight or lose. I wasn't sure how she was supposed to feel in my fingers. All I knew was that the way she was shutting her eyes right now and moaning my name was giving me a serious hard-on.

"Harry, you're so good," she whimpered. 

"I know, baby," I smirked, even though I had no idea what I was doing. I just kept feeling her until she arched her back and her nipples got hard. 

Slowly, I leaned even closer, until my mouth was by her core. She grinned. 

"What are you doing?" she asked, pretending to be innocent.

"I want to taste you," I told her. Maybe tasting her would help me forget about how worried she made me, how horny, how angry. I didn't want her to control me like that. I wanted her to feel that she belonged to me, that this wasn't some simple friends with benefits deal.

"Do it," she nodded, licking her lips.

I knelt down and spread her legs further, gripping her thighs with my hands. I slipped my tongue inside slowly, being careful that my teeth didn't push too hard. But when my front teeth lightly pressed against her walls, she gasped and tightened her legs around my neck.

I went deeper and even added my fingers to double her moans and make her come faster. It worked. She closed her eyes, letting herself enjoy her orgasm. Then she sat upright and patted herself with her towel and walked away.

"W-where are you going?" I asked, confused as to why she was leaving so suddenly. 

"I need to get dressed, silly," she grinned. I nodded. Duh. She wanted to put her clothes on, not sit naked with me for hours. God knows what I wanted to do next if she was still naked with me...

It took her a while to get changed. I could hear her pulling tights on and brushing her hair and slipped on her not-to-high heels. I got dressed myself and realized that I was probably late for my meeting with Sheperd. 

But Sam just got back. I can't ditch her for Sheperd.

"Sam?" I called. 

"Yes?" she answered.

"I have a session with Sheperd. Could we maybe talk after--"

Sam didn't give me a chance to finish. She ran to me and jumped into my arms.

"I just wanted to say I'm sorry, again. I know I should have told you were I was going, but I didn't think you cared," she apologized. I smiled and tucked a few of her semi-wet hairs behind her ear. Her eyes glowed even more vividly when she didn't have that dark eye make-up on.

"I do care, Sam," I told her. She smiled shyly. 

"You're so good to me, Harry. I don't even deserve you," she whispered. There was a look of honesty in her eyes that made me stare longer. I held her closer. She cleared her throat and glanced away.

"No, don't say that," I murmured. "I'm the one who doesn't deserve you," I admitted. "You're perfect and I'm a felon," I mumbled, looking down at the ground.

"I'm far from perfect, Harry," she laughed anxiosuly and eased down from my arms. She stood close infront of me, smiling up at me. "But thank you anyway," she nodded. I felt like she was keeping something from me...

"Of course," I bowed slightly, pretending to be an honorable  soldier.

"You're so old school. I love it," she giggled. I blushed slightly. I didn't really know what she meant. I was just being myself. I think a good girl should be treated like a princess. But that's the problem is: Sam isn't a good girl. Maybe I was stupid to think this, but I still wanted her to be my princess, my angel.

****

The extra session with Sheperd wasn't that bad. I admitted a few minor things about still thinking of the times when Sergeant used to beat me, but I didn't give too much detail. I really couldn't take the sessions anymore. Talking about Sergeant was one thing, but thinking about Sam was another.

I really wanted Sam to give me some kind of title: friend, boyfriend, anything. I didn't like that we screwed around (not literally) and yet we didn't call each other anything. Maybe she was waiting for me to speak up. I don't know...

Time passed quickly. In a matter of weeks, I'll be free to go, which only made my Sam issues more important to solve now.

Sam brought my meals again, at the usual times. We continued our make out sessions each day, but something felt wrong. The way she kissed my neck and grabbed my through my pants. It didn't feel right-- I felt good physically, but my chest told me something completely different.

"Is something wrong, Harry?" she asked, briefly pausing our kissing.

I wanted to laugh it off, but Sam looked concerned, so I spoke up.

"Sam, do you care about me?"

Sam's eyes widened. her smeared mascara looked kinda scary now. "Yes, of course I do, Harry. I can't believe you would think otherwise," she gasped. She sounded a bit theatrical, like she had planned to say this.

"I'm sorry, I just wanted to make sure," I apologized. I didn't want to piss her off; I just need to hear her say it out loud. "So when I get released from this place, will you still talk to me?" I asked. There was a ting of desperation in my voice that I tried to drown out by clearing my throat.

"It's ok," she smiled, biting down on her lower lip. I suddenly didn't find it all that sexy anymore, just kinda annoying.

"Could you say it, please?" I asked softly.

Sam blinked. "What?"

"Could you say that you care about me?"

"Ok," Sam mumbled. She looked down before glancing at my eyes. "I care about you," she told me, but she didn't look me in the eyes. My chest tightened. 

Sam pressed her lips to mine and we kissed and kissed, but I wanted to cry and cry. Sam doesn't love me the way I love her. But I can't seem to let her go. I won't let her go until she loves me back.