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The laptop screen lit up at the conference video call.
Most of the team was in one frame and Arbeloa was in another. Marcelo was the first one to speak, "So, she does have a sister. Two actually. Oh my God, I have never felt so happy. Can I have the sexier one's number please? I promise I'll behave."
"Oh God, Marcelo," Sergio said, "you don't just start a relationship by being a stalker."
"But but..."
"Guys, I thought we were discussing my problems," Karim complained at his laptop screen.
Marcelo nodded, "Right, right. Sorry, man. Continue, please, I'll ask you for her number later."
Jese sat beside Karim, "But I don't know why we're being all sad about this. I mean, Karim Parim finally told Shaheen he loves her. Isn't the ship sailing?"
"Ugh, Jese, don't you know anything?" Isco rolled his eyes and pushed Jese and Karim away so that he was sitting in front of the screen now. "Hashtag Sharim has not sailed, I repeat, it has not sailed and that physically hurts my golden shipper heart. I mean, sure, Karim has done half the work but a story isn't over since she says I love you too, Karim Parim."
"Ya Allah, please stop calling me 'karim parim', you two."
Raphael smiled, "Why? Does Shaheen have the sole right to call you Karim parim?"
Marcelo took it up, "Kaaariiiim paaariiim, I love chu, my sexy bald fucker."
"I hate you, guys."
"Guys, guys, give him a break," Gareth said. "He's videocalling us for help."
James butted in too, "Yeah, guys, behave. Cristiano, what do you think we should do?"
Karim sighed. Here we go again. "Yeah, Cris, please tell me how you got the girl even after messing up?"
Cristiano reddened, "Gosh, you're putting me on a spot. That was just one small argument I had. Zarine and I have put it behind us. But let me see, I did meet and apologize in person. It also involved being chased by a bunch of rabid haters and fans and hiding in a college supply cupboard. And apologizing like a million times."
"So," Karim said, "I've done the meeting and apologizing bit. All that's left is being chased by rabid haters and fans." He looked at Isco, "Can we arrange that?"
Isco nodded thoughtfully, "Uh, I'm sure if you do live stream of saying 'Barca is Bullshit' we'll attract a group of rabid haters in no time."
"Ooh and you could simultaneously do one with shouts of 'Bonjour, Madridistas, I'm in India' and our beautifully kind fans would help you," Jese added.
Arbeloa was watching one disastrous plan after another being articulated by his teammates. He shook his head, deciding that enough was enough. Time the love guru stepped in, "Guys, guys, please shut up."
