Chasing After My Life. (Another cancer story)

Chapter 31

A/N: Sorry it's been so long. Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays and maybe New Year too I may not get a chance to update again. I'm working on it. I know this chapter was posted a little late and I'm sorry. Enjoy.

Leo
She was in and out for almost a week. She was on strong antibiotics and other meds. She was given a lot of fluids. Finally on December 20,she gained consciousness. We talked for a little bit then I sat there holding her hand as we silently looked at the wall and out the glass door leading to her room. The hospital was all busy. We both came to the realizations that she might be stuck here for Christmas. Many people were but she didn't want to be this was our first Christmas as a couple and we were gonna spend it together. I was off for break until after the New Year. She quietly began to cry. Hey hey hey,what's wrong April,talk to me,I whispered gently in her ear while I was rubbing her back. I pulled her to my chest carefully and gently. She sobbed against me chest. She no longer had the mask but had nubbins in its place. The doctors have talked of weaning her off of them too they believe her lungs are about strong enough and with time they will become even stronger. She shook her head and mumbled almost like a whisper I couldn't hear,I may not be home for Christmas and the New Year with you and I want too. No matter where we will be we will be together don't think for a second we won't,I whispered. Okay,she whispered. The light wasn't shining in her eyes something was still really bothering her. April,there's something else I can see it I can read it in your eyes I know you well enough just tell me what it is,I whispered and gently kissed her soft warm lips though for a second. I want to see a snow this winter out of the hospital, to go out in it and be young with you, to live my life, I want too before I die or end up back in here if I ever get out,she said tearing up a bit at the word die. You will and you are getting out soon you will live a long happy life and be healthy you'll get through this,I said. How do you know,she asked. Because you're strong,a fighter, and I ain't letting you give up that easy you'll be fine and you have an amazing team like my mom and Kate taking care of you,I reassured her. Our eyes locked and we kissed softly and gently for several minutes. After it was over I climbed onto the bed and held her close. Rest so you'll be better,I mumbled to her forehead. I kissed the top of her head. She soon drifted off. While she slept even though I didn't want to leave her I went and talked all of her doctors to meet with me.  It's obvious April is doing better though she's upset and doesn't want to be here for Christmas as long as she rests easy and we watch her why can't we take her home from Christmas until the new year,keep meds and supplies with us,she needs to be with us,I said and my voice caught and went shaky with rising tears as the words rose and spilled out. "Who knows if she will be here next Christmas to be with us" I said. A few tears slid out unnoticed. I wiped them away. They looked around the room at each other and finally agreed she would be released the 22 of December at lunch to come home through Christmas and the new year. Depending on how she is and after her doctor appointment January 3 she may get to stay home. She slept up until the 22 only eating when she woke briefly. I held her hand and her for a long while. I even caught some sleep with her. She was stronger and was getting better. At lunch she was surprised to see the wheelchair wheel her downstairs where all of the staff yelled surprise Merry Christmas. She had many hugs and some small gifts or cookies. Finally I took her out to the car. Mom was driving. We sat together holding hands without IV lines or wires of some sort or mechanical hospitals noises. We were sitting close. She was off of the oxygen but had it for night and if she truly ended up needing it again. Later that night after April was in bed I was thinking and remembering as a billion memories flooded through my mind. The first time I saw April and she took my breath away and my heart beat faster. I was nervous and blushed when she looked at me. When we met and began talking. Becoming close and everything recent that happened. Those days and the day we first knew she was sick seem like another life entirely. Life was so different. I'm grateful I have her in my life I don't know what I'd do without her.
I remembered that April said that she had wanted to see another snow before getting stuck in the hospital or dying and she wanted it in winter around Christmas and News Years while she was home with me and our family. I wished I could make it true but that was impossible. I worked one miracle though I got her home with me and us for Christmas. Luckily it snowed tonight. She woke smiling and we ate quickly dressed warmly and ran out into the still slowly falling flakes. She grabbed a sled and we started going down the hill together. She was laughing and smiling and underneath her hat covering her short but beautiful hair I saw a beautiful girl which was something that disease cannot take from her. I love her I am hers and she is mine.I held her to me that day from the cold and we kissed that day and it seemed different than before almost magical and I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with her for the remaining time we had left together. We decorated the tree with her on my shoulders to reach the top. We had Christmas music blaring and everybody was dancing and laughing and having a good time. Letting her do the top was special for us all. We don't know what next year will bring. That night I went out after she was in bed. I made a heart in the snow and so she hugged me close the next morning smiling and laughing and after breakfast went outside and with lose flakes on her hair and lips and eye lashes we kissed in the snow inside the heart.
I thought about that now sitting next to her on her second to last treatment of her second round of chemo. It was Christmas Eve but with her numbers manageable we are in a critical time and cannot miss it. We did this because after this Christmas we didn't know if she'd live cause the chemo wasn't working as well as planned but she's gotten better she's gonna make it she's got too.  I thought this holding her hand as she slept a bit the chemo entering her body to battle cancer she was so beautiful I couldn't stop looking at her and I promised her to go in the snow so that we could act like little kids. We only were able to talk to Tristan a minute his treatment was over early. She'll be sick tonight but tomorrow morning is gonna be really special. It's our first Christmas as a true couple and I've wanted to do something special for her so I am. I got her home three days before Christmas even with her treatment Christmas Eve she was home until after the New Year. We woke very early the next morning. My brother was excited he's still really young. The excitement had reached us both. I had pulled the couch close and April and I held hands while we slept. We smiled at each other and got up in our pajamas. We opened gifts. I had given her a charm bracelet and a small heart locker engraved to the girl I love and stole my heart with an infinite sign. Inside had a picture of me and her both healthy with her on my back a big smile as we both laughed into the camera. We had Christmas dinner that evening with both our families gathered into our house. We both went to bed with a satisfied smile on our faces truly exhausted. Sometime late in the night she whispered I love you in my ear as she climbed in next to me. I eventually enveloped her in my arms. Long after she was back asleep I lay awake relishing her sweet scent and the feel of her in my arms and the warmth of her body. I never wanted it to end. Soon after my eyes closed as we peacefully slept with few worries about the future.