Purpose

Chapter 12

"Ms. Castillo" I called when I approached her. She faces me with those swollen eyes. I gave her a fake smile as I stood beside her.

"I'm glad you could make it. You made my baby girl so happy" Her voice was awful.

"I love your daughter Mrs. Castillo. You'd doubt it if I didn't make her happy" She laughed slightly. At least... she's trying her best not to cry. Fatima must be so happy at the sight.

"By the way, why are you wearing navy blue?" I looked at my polo then back to her.

"It's your daughter's last wish." And I know clearly why she asked that favor.

I let the time pass in talking with Fatima's mother. I'd loose my mind if she started crying infront of her daughters funeral. And that's not the least she wanted. The time where you put flowers in her before burying underground came. And tears just started to form in my eyes. The last time I'll see her face.

"Bro" I looked by my side and saw Fatima's brother. Beside him is Sunny. And I didn't expect to see Joy. They must have been so close that time.

Everyone was here. Just a little more push... I'll learn to accept this. It was my turn to put flower in her.

I stood up and approached her. I placed the flower in her hand. I froze. I froze because I saw her standing infront of me. Wearing the same clothes. Smiling.

"You wore navy blue!" She shouted in excitement. I couldn't believe it. Am I seeing ghosts? Literally? I blinked my eyes a few times and heard her giggle.

"Thanks for making mom happy today. Thanks for wearing navy blue just like I asked you to. Thanks for the picture we have when we went to the mall. Thanks for the time in the field. I loved the kiss we shared..." She went on and on with everything. It was too late when I saw myself crying infront of her. Tears racing down my face. I looked and stared at her as she kept talking. Thanking everything. Then she stopped and the smile on her face faded.

"And... I'm sorry Sedric.I'm sorry. I'm very sorry." I'd like to hold her shoulders and shake her until everything in her mind go away. But I couldn't move when I saw tears started to flow in her eyes. Both of us.

"I love you!" She ran to me and embraced me. She placed her head in my chest as her tears wet my shirt. I hesitated at first but went and did it. I embraced her and kissed her hair.

"Take care of them, for me.Goodbye..." And to those words... she started to disappear from my sight. I held her hand and gently kissed it. I forced a smile.

"I will. Be happy" Is the only last thing I said to her. Then there, she faded away.

***

The funeral ended with me... deep in sadness. Drowned in depression. Just because of the thought that I'll never see her again. And... that... she's gone. What will I do now?

My head went up and searched for Fatima's family. I went over to them and handed over the letter. The letter she wrote for each and everyone of them. It was rude to read something private like that. But if I didn't... I'd still stay clueless. It would hurt much more than now.

"Mrs. Castillo?" She turned around and gave me a fake smile. Then that smile got drowned when I gave her the letter.

"What's this?" My lips quivered and hesitated to answer.

"It's from Fatima, Mrs. Castillo" I said in a formal way I could ever do.

"Fatima bought those when we went to the mall. She handed it to me... in case she miss the time to give it to you, personally." Her hand went over and covered her shivering lips. Just when I was trying to not cry, she cried. Infront of me.

"She knew. She already knew." She whispered. I bowed my head to hide the tears that were forming.

"I'm sorry to hand it to you later than she wanted." I felt her hand on my head. Gently combing my hair.

"Late or not..." She inched her face away from mine and pressed her palm against my cheek. Then there I saw myself, crying in public.

"My daughter would still want us to read it no matter what." I smiled and held her hand as tears were still rushing down.

"I don't appreciate you crying." I turned my head and saw Fatima's brother. Looking disappointed.

"What?" I questioned.

"Crying are for losers. It just means your not tough." Are we doing this tough thing now? We're in a funeral of his sister.

Sunny came near and tapped him slightly on the shoulder. "Like you didn't cry like a baby." He looked away and scratched the back of his head with a goofy smile.

"That was exempted."

"Tsk. I still can't believe your Fatima's brother." I smiled at the view of everyone's smile.

Is this it, Fatima? You didn't want the idea of anyone frowning, right? Well...

Thanks for everything.

"But what now Sedric?" I paused at Sunny's question. I smiled bitterly.

"There's no use wallowing in depression. It's harder to live in grieve"

"I don't even know the answer to myself. Life goes on." I simpky answered to her. She smiled as tears escaped from her eyes.

"I don't want to forget about her. She's done nothing but nice things to people. Why?" Fatima's mother placed her hand on her shoulder.

"We won't forget her, Sunny. She's a part of us now." She encouraged. I smiled. A real smile.

"She's just too good to be true." I commented.

"She is. Thank you, Sedric. Thank you on behalf of my daughter." I didn't said anything. How would I even reply to that? Welcome? It was nothing?

There was nothing to be said. I just smiled at her as tears continue to rush down her radiant face. Both happy. Both sad. And both grieving. Maybe it was for the best? She's been... suffering everyday. Though I know, Fatma won't call it 'suffering'. She'd say she's lucky... to live this long. And that she's thankful of everything.

***

I got home crestfallen. I'd have to live on now. I'd have to live and continue a life where she exists only in my heart and in my mind. Everyone knows I won't forget her that much.

"Sedric" I looked up and saw mom infront of our yard. Waiting.

"How was it? Was it everything I said?" I gave her a satisfying smile as I stepped closer to her.

"It's everything I know." I simply said to her. Her smile faded away as she wrapped her arms around me. I bit my quivering lips and closed my eyes because of the tears wanting to escape as I embraced her back.

"It's going to be alright." I heard her whisper. I smiled.

Mom has been here by my side for how many years I can't count. Ever since I started to exist. And maybe I could say I just realized that now.

And Fatima... even though she's sick and all, she really did everything to make a change and do things for her family. As if everyday was a day worth to be cherished. And I think she's right.

There's people around us that cares. And sometimes people are blinded by the other facts this world have. That they became unaware of others feelings. Make the best of every time you have with that person before they say farewell to us and to others. Must be the whole reason why she didn't want anyone crying for even just a second.

"I know, Mom." Everything will be fine. Everything will be...

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