Impossible to love you, but I do

Impossible to love you, but I do: Chapter 5

Hey everyone, sorry it's taken me so long to upload this... It's a bit shorter then I'd like, but it's here, and I hope you all like it :)

But before you all go to read, I'd like to give a great big thank you to 'akanksha07' ! She has commented on almost every single chapter of pretty much all of my stories. Thank you so much! I truly DO appreciate it! :)

So, please comment, vote, tell me what you think!

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Impossible to love you, but I do.

© Amanda Macdonald

~*5*~

Lydia's POV.

When I gasped, opening my eyes, I was surprised to see Shane Thomas face to face, lips to lips with me.

I instantly pulled away. "Hey! Oh my gosh, I thought you weren't coming back for another week!?" I faked enthusiasm, still shocked.

"Yeah, well, two weeks was bad enough, I just told Dad I couldn't stand another day without my girl, and that I was coming home." He smiled down at me and pulled me in closer, arm going tightly around my waist.

Time seemed to suddenly slow down.

I guess I forgot to mention I had a boyfriend, eh? Well; I do.

And if you are the stereotypical type, then you would never expect him to be the guy with jet black hair, walking around in tight shirts and skinny jeans, blasting god-awful screaming in his ears.

But I must say, a guy in skinny jeans is totally hot.

You may not also believe it, but he is also one of the nicest guys I have ever met in my life. He is so caring, and although he is part of the large group of guys I must classify as highly perverted, and only wishes to have a popular on his arm, getting the pleasure out of it as he can, he is such a sweetie.

So why are we still together, you may ask?

Because I truly do love him, but we were friends before anything, really. We've known each other for years, and I'm truthfully scared that if we weren't together anymore, we would never talk again. And I couldn't handle that. He just meant too much to me, and I don't think he realises just how much that is.

Still smiling at me, he bent his head down and gave me another passionate kiss before letting go quick and walking over to a bunch of his other girl friends.

I followed my gaze to them. They all had the longing smiles that I knew I should have with Shane, but I just didn't get the spark I used to. I mean, we had been dating for almost 7 months now... I just can't seem to let him go, though.

All the girls had that loving smile on their faces, and the flirty voices, and I knew he noticed it; he just did what any great and responsible boyfriend would do. Avoid it; ignore it; walk away. That's what meant so much to me about him. The fact that I KNEW half the population of girls in this school would date him in an instant, but he didn't care. I was enough.

I picked up my fallen coins, and followed everyone to our lunch table where I put my tray of food down, and sat next to Shane. His arm absently went around my waist, as he leaned back causally in his chair, tipping it back a bit, getting closer to me.

I look over at him. "So how was the trip?" I asked. He and his dad had gone to visit family down in California over the last two weeks. They had moved down here almost a year ago, and it was they're first time back since the move.

He looked at his friends, but not me. "It was GREAT, sitting on the beach every day, surfing, getting back with some old friends, the parties..." He continued, grinning, but I wasn't listening. I didn't want to hear what had happened at the parties he had gone to, nor did I want to know who he was with the whole time. Although I trusted him, things could always go wrong in an instant.

When the bell rang for third period, I was walking in a moment too late for Spanish. The teacher looked up from her book, glasses on the tip of her nose, disappointed look on her face. She slid her glasses off her face, saying "Miss. Odell, detention, my room; 3:00." And then she went back to her lecture.

Great.

Detention on a Monday afternoon.

I just glared at the floor, and went to go take a seat in the back.

About 5 minutes before class ended, I kept feeling someone poking my back, so I turned around to come face to face with Stephanie. She looked at me, and whispered, "Sucks to have detention today, we were all coming to my house after. You can still come if you want..."

I smiled at her, "Love to. What time?"

"Whatever time you get out, just come right over. Melissa and Susan are leaving early, though, so if you wanted to see them, you should go before-"

"No, it's alright, I'm good." The bell rang then, and we all got up to leave for the door.

She walked up beside me. "Alright, then... I'll see you later," she smiled, and left for her locker, leaving me in the door way, thinking.

Thank god. I don't think I can stand another minute near Melissa after what had happened this morning. Good thing I didn't see her at lunch, either, or I probably would have gone up to her; and believe me, things would probably have gotten pretty ugly if I-

Someone hit my arm, then, sending me falling face first to the floor, right outside the doorway. The person instantly came down on top of me, one arm going around waist, the other pulling on my arm, trying to help me up.

"Oh god, sorry about that..." Oh dear lord, I knew that voice...

I turned around, to come face to face with Austin.

Man, did God just hate me today?

We both stood up, but he was looking me right in the eyes. Those beautiful green irises of his, just pouring emotion into mine. I looked down, embarrassed. But I still felt his eyes on me. I could feel his breath on my neck; his arm still around my waist.

I could hear, feel, smell sweaty bodies flooding around us, moving from class to class, but this stopped neither of us. I looked up at him, and that's when everything seemed to go wrong.

A guy was running behind me, I could hear the screeching sound of his Nike sneakers screeching across the tiles.

And in an instant, he was smacking into my back, sending me right into the arms of Austin.

He was strong, and only stumbled back a few feet, but I had almost fallen in the process, and was now tightly secured in his embrace, and let me tell you, I have never felt so amazing in my life. He's so strong, and his muscles just fit me in his arms perfectly, like a baby in a new mothers.

I could feel him pull me in tighter, and then just as fast as it had happened, he let go. I stumbled to catch my balance, but when I hit the cement floor, I just lay there, letting the hurt I felt, consume me.