Dear Time

Time

Dear Time,

You must hate me.

You were always rushing. Scurrying out of the bedroom, into the washroom, then to the kitchen. It seemed like no matter how fast I tried to keep up or slow you down, you were always one step too far.

You were always talking about my big opportunities. You always believed in my dreams. You said I'd make it if I just trained a little harder or practiced a little longer. You looked so enthusiastic about it, and for a moment, I believed it.

But there were friends to think about. Love was a real flirt, always checking up on me every day, filling up my schedules, occupying my mind. He was sweet, unlike you. You were too practical. Sometimes I wished you'd notice me clinging to Love, but you didn't bother. Once again, you were in your own dimension.

After Love left, you brought me back with you. Then you jumped into your speech of taking chances and living a full life. But you know what, Time? I had enough. I decided to find Death.

Staring at the inviting dark ocean, I hoped you'd be miserable after seeing my floating body under the bridge. You'd cry and regret all your talking that drove me crazy.

But Death stopped me.

He was suave. Witty. Handsome, I might add. Everything you weren't. He stared at me like prey, but he spoke differently. He said it wasn't time yet. I thought he'd invite me to jump. He said he only invited people that have already finished their purpose in life. 

For some strange reason, I walked away. I did it for Death and not for you, Time.

When I walked into my apartment and stared at the dark shapes of my furniture, I felt empty. Love had left. Death wasn't there. You were gone. I flipped through albums and journals. They kept on bringing me back to my dreams. To you.

The way you bugged me all day was annoying. But when you decided to leave, I was lonely. I wished there was someone whose eyes would light up when they talked about dreams. Who would care about me. But Time had left. You had left.

Why did I not listen to you? Why did I not grasp my opportunities when you could cheer me on? Why didn't I trust you when you said you would catch me if I fell?

I blame you for leaving so suddenly. I may have wasted off a few years, but you didn't have to leave so soon. If you only came back, I would've turned around right away and chased my dreams to the end. But you never came back, and so I stopped searching for you and my dreams. It's your fault. But something tells me I only have myself to blame.

I'm off to find Death. But my love for him will never be as much, or as unrequited, as I had for you, Time.

Sincerely,

Regret