The Outcast

Chap 20

I've been throwing up all morning and just generally feeling shit . I was currently laying on the couch munching crisps Johnny entered the house with Pony both talking about sunsets and all that stuff "You okay? You still throwing up?" Johnny asked putting a hand on my forehead to check my temperature but I just swatted his hand away " Your temperature fine" he was puzzled I pulled myself off the couch and checking the calendar I practically choked when I noticed how late I was for my period. I was 4 weeks late I began panicking then memories from the morning after I got really drunk at Bucks and woke up in bed with a stranger filled my mind "Shit, Shit I'm going out " I quickly ran up stairs got changed then ran out the house leaving a confused Pony and Johnny. I walked down the aisle looking for pregnancy test I grabbed two then a bunch of shopping since Two , Steve and Dally ate all the food I shuffled up to the counter not even looking at the cashier as she scanned the items "That'd be $34.27 please " she said I quickly handed  the money and practically flew back into the house "Can you put the shopping away please " I said grabbing the tests before Pony and Johnny came into the kitchen to put away the stuff I ran up to the bathroom locking the door.

I stood frozen looking at the tests in my hand both came back positive "No no I can't be" I was shaking I slid down the wall knees tucked under my chin " I'm  not mother material " I sobbed I don't want  a kid I'm too young. I don't even know the father Me and Lucas wanted kids but we knew it wouldn't be fair the baby never knowing the dad Lucas never seeing the kid and me single handling raising the baby. I sat on the bathroom floor crying for what seemed ages then someone knocked on the door " You okay?" It was Pony I quickly got up putting the tests in pockets " Yea I'm fine" I opened the door faking a smile I ran passed but bumped into something solid It was Darry " You okay?" He asked worry was clear in his voice I stumbled back one of the tests falling out my pocket I cursed myself "whats this?" Pony said picking up the test "It's nothing give it back " I demanded trying reach for the test but he moved it away " You're pregnant?" He said quietly looking up from the test " YOUR WHAT!" Darry boomed soon lots of footsteps could be heard "what's going on?" Soda said as the rest of the gang pilled in I watched Pony show the pregnancy test " You're pregnant?" Soda smiled obviously happy with idea of a baby " I don't want it " I cried my hand hovering over my stomach "what why?" Johnny stood beside me " I'm too young, I don't know who the father is I don't know how long I've been pregnant then baby is not healthy cause of my smoking and drinking " I sobbed falling to my knees " IM NOT MOTHER MATERIAL " I bawled Darry helped me up bringing me into a hug while Soda rubbed my back " yea you are" Pony said " Im not" I mumbled into Darry's chest " You are.. you look after Johnny and us " Pony said again " I don't want ... I want rid of it" I spat standing up getting my composure back "You're gonna abort it" Soda frowned " yes I am" I wiped the remaining tears from my eyes I could tell they were red and puffy " You can't just abort it cause you don't want it" he said again slight hint of annoyance in his tone " There's lots of reasons why I shouldn't have the child" I crossed my arms "You can't just kill it" His voice raising Dally stepped in " Hey, Man. I'm siding with Gloria on this plus it's her body you can't tell what to do" Dally said putting an arm on soda shoulder but Soda smacked it away " Whatever. Kill it then, You murderer " Soda huffed then went back down stairs " Look Gloria don't take to heart Sodas just really against Abortion " Steve said defending Soda "I'm going to the hospital " I looked down at my feet "I'll come" Two announced I just nodded then went down stairs with the gang Soda shot glares at me as me and Two left.

" So Miss Everett as you know you are pregnant " the doctor said looking up from his paperwork I just nodded Two rubbed my shoulders for comfort " As you can tell from the scan the baby... well it's already showing signs of problems " The doctor said sympathetically " If the child was born they would have many difficulties... your baby's risk for birth defects, including cleft lip, cleft palate, or both. You could have a premature baby. Premature babies can have Low birth weight , Feeding difficulties, Breathing problems right away Breathing problems that last into childhood, Cerebral palsy, Developmental delays, Problems with hearing or eyesight" The doctor listened all the problems my heart breaking with each one I was almost in tears " It's gonna be okay stay strong " Two whispered into my ear " For your health and the babies I suggest abortion... I'm sorry to say that" The doctor looked back to his paper work " When can I get the abortion " I said quickly the doctor looked back up " Whenever you're ready " he looked at two then to me I stood up slowly " Could I have it the now?" I questioned The doctor stood up "if that's what you want" I nodded he escorted me and two to another room Two was told wait here while I was took into another room and got changed into a hospital gown then into the room where the abortion will happen. It was all white too clean the smell of chemicals filled the room " You sure about this because you can't turn back " a nurse said "yes" was I could say.

After a few days in hospital I was finally allowed out When I walked out I thought I'd see the gang but no one showed. I signed and stepped out into the cold air it's week till Christmas and I felt terrible I feel nausea and tired but apparently that's normal. My breasts ached as well and were swollen but that also is apparently normal, I decided now be a good time get gifts for the guys since I'm out and too distract myself. So much has happened... I miss Sam he would always cheer me up and knew what to do. 

I trudged along the street looking the most miserable person there could be I had already got the gifts. Darry I got some football stuff and phoned his boss demanding he got a week off with pay which his boss did. Pony I got some random books I don't what he reads I found two books. one was on sunsets and another on astrology. Steve and Soda got similar gifts I wasn't sure what get them, I got them some expensive stuff that you used to work on cars I wasn't sure but the man in the store said this is the stuff also I got plain shirts and I'm gonna do my own design for them. Two-Bit Anything that was Mickey-mouse and some expensive drinks with a joke book . Dally was really hard to get I got him a new leather jacket with some combat boots. Johnny well I kinda spoiled him , I practically got him a new wardrobe and I found out Johnny likes writing poems I went through his room one day and found them they were really sad I cried a little reading them but He was good at it. So I just grabbed anything that was to do with poetry and I new switchblade I wanted him to be protective I know he had one but this one bigger and better. King just got toys and a new bed since he destroyed his last one.

When I got into the house it was quiet and empty I was kinda of glad it was I didn't want talk to anyone I went up to my room I decided I'd do the shirts first . I sketched out what was been put on the shirt Soda just said " I'm hot and You know it " in fancy writing while Steve's said " You can't handle the Randle" in bold writing I smiled and got out some fabric paint and copied the writing onto the tops. Once I finished I started wrapping the gifts while the tops dried all the presents were wrapped perfectly in red and gold. I wrapped the shirts up once they were dried and put all presents back into bags . I smiled proudly I still felt exhausted so I quickly hopped in a shower and went to bed.