The Want of the Heart - R. G. (#Wattys2017)

12: The Girl Who Wanted To Believe

"Hey, Shelley," I say. She finally came back to school. "Where have you been?"

"Roman has been sick," the robotic voice replies.

"What do you mean?" I ask.

"Roman is in a coma."

I stood there for a moment, staring at Shelley in shock. I wasn't sure that I had heard her right. "A-A...c-coma?" I stammer.

Shelley nods her head and frowns.

"Well...wha- what happened?"

"He was found a couple of nights ago, passed out in the middle of the road. He had a gash on his forehead and his blood alcohol levels were really high. We're not sure what happened exactly, but that's all we know for right now."

A couple of nights ago. The night that he showed up at my house. I don't remember him having a gash on his forehead; that must have happened after he left. This was my fault. I caused this.

"Are you okay?"

"I just want my brother to be okay."

I felt bad. Maybe things could have ended differently if I hadn't have made Roman leave. "Well, do you mind if I, uh, I...come and see him? Maybe I could keep you some company, and I...I wanna...um, make sure that he's doing okay," I suggest.

I see the hint of a smile on Shelley's lips. "I'd like that." Then her smile disappears suddenly. "But I don't know how my mother would feel about that."

I nod my head. "I understand. Please keep me updated, won't you?"

"You could stop by for a couple minutes. I'm sure it won't hurt. You can see for yourself," she adds.

"I don't want to intrude, Shelley."

She shakes her head and starts typing something. "You're my friend."

I smile, and she smiles back at me. I can't help but tear up a little bit.

She starts typing again, then the electronic voice asks, "Do you like Roman?"

"Um, well, I mean, he's not as bad as I thought he was. He can be kind of nice. I guess so, yeah."

Shelley shakes her head and giggles softly. "I mean do you have a crush on him?" she asks.

My cheeks flush. "I...I guess I wouldn't...I wouldn't be against going out with him again, but...I do care about him." I hesitate and look around at the people walking through the busy hallway.

Shelley smiles and her cheeks light up blue. "You make Roman happy."

I hesitate for a moment, taking a deep breath to calm myself. "Does he talk about me?" I ask.

Shelley nods. "He always asks me about you. He wants to know things. The other day he asked me what your favorite restaurant was and what you liked to do for fun. He wants to get to know you. He really likes you, Zoe."

I can't help but smile, but then the thought of the other night comes to my mind. My smile slowly fades as the doubts pop into my head. Had Roman tricked his sister too? Did Roman really mean the things that he said to me that night? I want to believe it. I see it in the way he held me. I see it in the way he got down on his knees and begged me to let him stay. I see it in the way he held my hands and kissed my palms, almost on the verge of tears.