the model

fifty

I looked at the ring in my hand and back at Louis numerous times. My eyes wide with confusion and astonishment. I rocked the ring back and forth in my hand.

I examined it. It had a gold band with tiny little air-like waves carved into it. And on top stood a rock. A diamond. It was a marriage proposal ring. "What is this?" I asked.

"It's a ring." Louis said matter-of-factly.

I dropped the ring back onto the table. My palm open wide as if it was contaminated. My feelings rushing through my chest. Dozens of feelings. Feelings of confusion, amazement, happiness, sadness, anger.

"But-" I spoke before Louis interrupted me.

"No, no, no, no, no. I don't want to marry you." He blurted out. His words came out like soup being poured out of a ladle.

"I- wait. What?" I looked at him with confused eyes, my chest hurting from his reaction. He didn't want to marry me..?

"That's not mine." He said again. "That's a mistake. I'm not proposing to you." He shook his head vigorously.

"Oh, well, good." I placed the ring back into my glass. A loud clink came from it. "I don't want to marry you either."

"The waiter-" Louis stopped. "Wow, well... okay." He spoke slowly. "You wouldn't want to marry me?" He asked, his voice low.

"No, I just said that because it doesn't feel too good to hear someone say they don't want to marry you. And you said it to me, so now we are kind of even." I crossed my arms. Heat rising in throughout my body as I slowly became more annoyed with Louis.

Loud footsteps were heard coming from behind me. Louis' eyes shifted from mine to behind me, watching wherever the sounds came from.

Our waiter, out of breath, came up to us. "I am so sorry. The glasses got mixed up somehow. This glass wasn't meant for you." He breathed out.

I quickly gave the glass to him. "Yeah, we established that already." I mumbled. I inhaled deeply and let out a sharp breath.

I leaned back into my chair and played with my fork. Letting it stand on the table with my finger pressing into its points, spinning it. I could feel Louis' eyes examining my face. My eyebrows were tightly knitted together. My eyes were narrowed onto the fork. My jaw tightly clenched.

"Are you upset?" He asked after a moments silence.

I let the fork fall onto the table, bringing my hand into my lap. "No." I lied. And it was obvious that I lied.

Louis placed his fist on the table rather forcefully since it made a low thud. "Stop lying, Alexis. It's obvious you're upset over what just happened but I didn't do anything. That ring wasn't from me." He huffed.

"I'm not upset over the little mix up, Louis" I grinded my teeth.

"Oh, for fucks sake. Then, can you tell me what are you upset about?!" He raised his voice. "I can't read your mind, y'know?"

I let out a sharp breath before speaking. "I'm upset with how you reacted in the situation."

Louis had a slight shake of head. Looking at me as if I wasn't making sense. "I reacted it like I should have reacted. It wasn't mine. I wasn't proposing to you." He said with a hint of annoyance.

"No, that's not-" I tried to explain, but I was cut off.

"It's a simple mix up. Why can't you see that I did what I had to do to make you know it wasn't mine." Louis continued to 'explain' himself, but I stopped listening. I looked back down at my plate.

"Yeah, yeah. Okay. Whatever." I groaned, tired of him talking.

Once Louis stopped talking he leaned back into his chair. His eyes burning holes into my head as they were trying to make me look at him. I didn't want to be here right now. "I think I'm just going to go home." I gathered my things.

"Alexis, stop." Louis demanded. I didn't listen.

"You're being ridiculous." He scoffed.

I stood up and began walking away. Tears threatening to spill down my cheeks. I heard a screech, a curse, and footsteps behind me. I felt his hand wrap around my wrist.

Then, I was pulled into the first booth that I passed. "Why are you leaving?" Louis asked.

"I don't want to be here." I told him.

"I know, but tell me why. Stop beating around the fucking bush, Alexis, and just tell me." Louis growled, irritation evident in his tone.

I groaned. "Because I don't want to look at you right now!"

A waiter came to us. "Sir, I'm sorry but this isn't your table." He spoke to Louis.

Louis snapped his head towards the waiter and I watched as Louis' gaze made the waiter shift uncomfortably. "We're talking." Louis spat.

"I see that, sir. But-"

"We'll be out in five minutes."

Louis looked back at me. The waiter stood there for a few seconds before he walked away. Realizing we wouldn't be moving anytime soon.

"Now isn't this familiar." I grinned, but not a happy grin.

"What?" Louis asked.

"Us. In a booth. Arguing. And you being a fucking jerk." I rolled my eyes at him.

"Watch your mouth, Alexis." Louis growled. "And don't roll your eyes at me."

I placed my hand over my heart. "Aw, there's the Louis I first met." I paused. "So easily annoyed at everything I fucking do and so bossy. Telling me to not do this shit and not do that shit." I rolled my eyes again.

"Language." He spat. His eyes becoming wider as his anger grew.

"Oh, what? So only you can curse now?" I didn't know what I was saying at this point. I was just getting more and more upset with everything Louis is doing.

"Sir-" The waiter reappeared.

"Not now!" Louis slammed his fist onto the table. The waiter jumped back and quickly walked away. A few eyes were on us now. But Louis and I didn't care.

"Why are you like this, Alexis? Why now? All of a sudden you're in a pissy mood." He asked.

I completely ignored his question. Instead I wanted to ask my own question. Something that has been burning inside me since the whole ring incident. "What are we doing, Louis?" My voice calmed down.

He cocked his head to side, confused.

"I know we're not an item, but there are times where it feels like we are. And I know you feel that too. But as of tonight, we both said that we don't want to marry each other. So what the fuck are we doing, Louis? Why are we wasting each other's time?"

Louis was quiet for a few moments. And after a while of waiting for his response, I gave up. "I'm going to go. Eat your dinner and I'll meet you back at your house or whatever. I need some time to myself right now." I whispered and slid out of the booth.

I wanted to go home. To my own apartment. Lay in my own bed and cry. I didn't want to lay in Louis' house where it smelled like him. Only reminding me more of him. But, I want to know how Louis feels for me. The only way I'd get that is to read the rest of his journal. So I rode a taxi to his home.

A/N:

Hey guys!

What an intense chapter, huh? I hoped you liked it, though!  

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