By the time you read this, I may not be living.

From Phoenix To Hikari

Dear Hikari,

Sorry its taking this long to write back to you and I really hope you're doing okay. I know what its like to feel alone and like you're not wanted. I have three brothers but being the youngest meant I got pushed around a lot.  Things weren't any better at school as most people looked over and past me. The few friends I did have barely hanged out with me and never felt that truly connected to them. I believe that you have the same problems  I have. I was once connected to someone like you were. It seemed life my life began to revolve around her and so did my happiness. It wasn't like she didn't deserve it, unlike your ex boyfriend. She was everything I wanted in a girl so like a lonely fool I threw myself at her. My life kinda became all about living for her. I was good in that I had something to live for but it was a kind of double edge sword. Though I had someone in my life, My life wasn't really a life. I was still that lonely kid in the beginning of the relationship. I didn't grow or mature and she realized that. She broke it off and stop talking to me for a while. I was distraught and nearly broken the next few days. I hated just about every part of myself. I really didn't see the point in life. I'm sure you know that feeling of being in a hollow shell. All of that taught me something. I need to control my life and destiny. I put so much into others and how I fit in with them that I wasn't happy. That being said, I didn't find happiness then or even now. I don't know what I need to be happy but  I'm not going to stop looking for it. I know you may feel happy with that guy in your life but isn't true happiness; it's dependence and it seems he feds on it. You need to forget about him and stop talking to him. You need to find the inner strength necessary to do that. I can't help you find it be here to support you. Even in the darkness that surrounds you, find your light and you will find happiness in it's glow. 

-Taka