Falling Walls (III)

Chapter 36

Police? Why is the police here? Did something happen to the kids? - No, I have my phone on me. Someone would have called me - Tom?

I ran towards the door. After fumbling around with the keys, I pushed the door open and ran through the hallway, Hannah close on my heels. Inside the kitchen, four officers were sitting around the coffee table, together with Gabriella and Norbert, drinking coffee and eating cake.

"What is this?" Hannah blurted out before I could. All eyes focused on us. 

"Oh," Gabriella smiled at us. Pointing at one of the officers she continued, "This is my son Bernard and these are his colleagues. It's his birthday today and he came over for his break."
And you're having his party here? I thought to myself. As if reading my thoughts, Bernard explained. "This wasn't planned. My parents were just working here and the guys and I thought we pop in. I'm friends with Tom. I mean, we all hang out sometimes when he's around." Bernard stumbled over the last words, pointing to his nodding colleagues for confirmation.

I had hoped to just have a warm bath and rest before making arrangements to go back to Australia, but instead joined everyone at the coffee table, indulging in Gabriella's homemade cheese cake. Everyone was lovely but somehow I had the feeling they all tiptoed around the Tom topic. It didn't matter anymore anyways.

My bag was packed, my ticket to Sydney booked and a taxi to Samedan train station booked for the following morning. With my hair still damp from the earlier bath, I was lying in bed, in Tom's bed, in the bed of the father of my unborn child. Would I ever see him again? Would I ever feel him or smell him again? Would he ever hold me tight again, or look into his child's eyes? I pressed my nose deep into the pillow, like I used to just after Tom had left for Germany when we first met. But there was nothing. Only the smell of laundry powder. It reminded me a bit of the smell of my mum's laundry.

The next morning, Hannah was already up when I joined her at the breakfast table. She had decided to spend more time in Switzerland.
"Scott called last night. He'll try to find a relieve dentist so he can come over here for a week or two. He is so amazing, Lisa. - Sorry, I didn't mean to upset you."
She hadn't.  I felt surprisingly content, having made a final decision. I would leave. I would go on with my life.
"Do you think it would be okay for me - or us - to stay here a little longer?" Hannah asked after taking a sip of her coffee. I hadn't thought about the fact that I or my friends may no longer be welcome here.  But then, Tom left me a message, assuming everything would work out.  So why not.  "Yeah, that's fine," I answered exuberantly.

I was just leaving the breakfast table to take a shower, when the door bell rang.  My heart skipped a few beats. Who could that possibly be? 

A slightly shy looking Bernard was standing outside. This time not in his police uniform but in blue jeans and a casual black shirt.  I invited him in and Bernard, seemingly relieved, accepted my invitation to a cup of tea. Luckily, we had just enough left in the can Hannah had made us. I was wondering why Bernard came by but couldn't find the right words to ask without it sounding rude, when Hannah stepped in.

"And what do we owe the honour of your visit to this morning, Bernard?"
Poor Bernard looked so uneasy. Then he began to mumble, first directing at Hannah, then focusing on me.  "I just wanted to let you know that I don't usually just come here when Tom's not around.  Yesterday was just a coincidence.  My parents would never use Tom's place for their own purposes."

I think Hannah had hoped for a more exciting reason and excused herself. When only Bernard and I were left sitting next to each other in the kitchen, he leaned in to me and whispered: "I also just wanted to let you know that I met with Tom the day before he left."
If he hadn't had it before, Bernard now had my full attention. "Tom was talking about you the entire time. I've never seen him like that. You know, he left to figure out how to make things work. Don't get me wrong, but you just looked so sad yesterday every time Tom's name was mentioned, so I just thought maybe I just tell you." I nodded silently to everything he said.   
Everything Bernard told me was flattering and I soaked in every word. I realised how much I still craved to hear that I meant something to Tom.  It certainly didn't make my decision easier but I knew what I had to do and I would stick to it.
I accompanied Bernard to the door where I waved him off. As he walked towards his car, a straw blonde stuck her head out the window.
"Finally," I heard her complain in a whiney voice.  The rest of her words was carried away by the wind. But Bernard's deeper voice made it to my ears: "You don't have to. I totally get what he sees in her."
"And happy birthday!" I called after him. I liked Bernard.

With my bag in hand I walked out the door and climbed into the taxi waiting for me. While the driver packed my luggage into the boot I buckled up and waved to Hannah, who was standing in the door frame. As the taxi drove off, I watched her gradually disappear in the side mirror.

That's it, my probably last and only time at Tom's house in St Moritz.
Only after I could no longer see Tom's house I noticed that my hand was resting on my tummy. From now on, my focus will be on you, your brother and your sister, I promised my unborn child.
As the landscape that I had grown so used to over the past days rushed by, my thoughts were with my family. Pictures of the twins, the baby, Dave and Hannah consumed me. It would all be good.  At least Tom had set me up financially, giving me a secure and content outlook, and I had to admit that it gave me a bit of satisfaction that maybe this would now annoy Tom.

The driver parked in the designated taxi drop off area, handed me my luggage, then left with the next customer as I marched to my platform.  Twenty-eight more minutes until my train would leave. I checked my ticket again, making sure I hadn't forgotten it, then settled on one of the red wooden benches, resting my feet on my bag. Every twenty seconds or so I checked the display board, the minutes counting down agonisingly slow. Twelve minutes before departure, the red train slowly rolled in. I got up and looked one last time at the mountains surrounding the train station, then I bent down to pick up my bag.

"I'll take that," a voice all too familiar to me breathed into my ear, his hand covering mine. All strength left my body, the bag sliding effortlessly into his. "I was worried I wouldn't make it in time," Tom smiled at me.