Pokemon Ash X Reader - Hateful Love

49. Lights

(Your POV)

<At Night>

"I had a way then, I should have known then" I said

"You still love him?" Iris asked

"No I don't" I said "It's just I just . . ."

"This happens all the time, you move on then turn back then love him then get rejected then move on then love him then get paranoid THEN move on and then  start to love him again" May said "It's just a never ending circle"

"Because the name of this circle is Love" I said

"Yes, though I don't like this feeling" Iris said

"C'mon! Tomorrow is my match in Top 8!" I said pouting

"OK! OK!" They said

"What?" I asked

"Good luck" Iris said

"You know I'm stuck in the dark but not able to find a way back . . ." I said "I just need light which is gone" 

"I feel pity" I said

"What does Ash sees in her?" May asked

"Bonnie told me" I answered "Today evening only what he sees in her"

"What!?" They asked

"Actually it is related to our childhood memories" I said "Way back then we first met her in Summer Camp held by Professor Oak, there she got lost and Ash found her and gave her a handkerchief, and they came back 'Hand In Hand' from that movement she got feelings for him BUT he like ME, she confessed to him before going back, and since Ash was a child he said her 'beautiful' and that he also likes her and promised to be with her not knowing what he was saying till he turned 8 and forgot about it, he started to hand constantly with me, in Kalos Serena remembered him and made him remember her, all the compliments and promises . . . Even though Ash never goes back on his promise it looks like the compliments, she was 'cute' 'pretty' and 'beautiful', and she made him believe that Ash was't able to win the League because I always slow him down, though he denied the fact and said he still likes me, though Serena's persistence and those childhood memories made his heart give in to her, and he started to open his heart for and before he knew it -"

"He was in love with" May said

"Correct" I said "Ash then agreed to her and then started to get distant towards me"

"Have you ever heard 'The higher you go the deeper you fall'?" Iris asked

We nodded

"I could imply it here" She said "In friendship even if it breaks we still play with that person and talk to him and chances of being friends again are better because the thread of friendship is strong, but the bond of love is higher and delicate, so if you ever fall you fall deeper than friendship and you develop the same amount of hate you loved that person meaning the more you love the more you could hate that person, plus a it's delicate, easy to break that thread of love, so you won't even talk to that person" 

"You are right . . ." I said 

He was my then who I was losing on my own

He had heart but my queen was overthrown 

And I could't sleep now because the dark is too hard to beat

And I don't have the strength to keep up and move on from this dark

Noises in my head, I feel myself to calm myself down

I hope I'm still breathing when I think about that time

I only feel safe when May and Iris are with me . . . or Red?

You show the light that stop me and turn to stone

You shine  it when I'm alone

And so I tell myself that I'll be strong

And dream that you're gone

Causing they are calling me home, away from you

Ash . . .