For You

1

(I was conflicted about what to put as the gender pronoun I was concerned I will receive mixed feelings from readers about the word choice. So I have made the pronoun for you "them")

Kyungsoo takes a deep breath, sitting on the comfortable leather couch SM has provided them with within the dorm, the smell making him think of the cars he's been in. The leather seat that appears in his mind isn't the one that their (EXO) van has. It's a certain someone's car. Their name is clear in his mind as he rests his arm on the armrest, his hand holding up his head and his free hand petting one of Kai's dogs. He forgot the poor animal's name but he's certain it hasn't forgotten him, considering the amount of times Kyungsoo has fed him when the rest aren't home. 

"What are you doing now, I wonder," he whispers, his plump lips pouting slightly to show how disheartened he is. Now that he observes the dorm's living room, everything is so dark, except for where he sits. "Maybe it's for me to contemplate on what I've done to them," his voice is a bit louder this time, and even more disheartened. The dog jumps out of his lap abruptly, making the male take it as a sign of God, telling him that he figured out the reason for the darkness around him. 

As he watches the dog strut away, it's almost as if time stops when he starts to think about them. How much of an amaranthine they were. How similar they were to a lucida, amongst everyone else, they shined the brightest to him.How they sought out recherché love from him. How he would avoid it like the plague, attending to his work religiously, he lacked the bibliomania that their relationship needed. How he let them go so easily. How he let his brain guide him more, more than his heart. And now, how he misses their zweisamkeit. 

It seemed like the easiest thing then, he thinks. Work first and foremost. 

My problems last, especially the most troublesome ones. He still doesn't know why he did it honestly. He doesn't know why it was the easiest thing. 

"Atelophobia," he remembers Kai telling him. "You were afraid of failing them so you just..."

"Gave up." 

Though Kai is not there, he finishes the sentence he hears in his head loudly, looking up from the dog and out the window, the lights of the Gangnam District making him only a wee bit relaxed. A wee bit forgetful. His lemon-shaped eyes, with less color than the normal, just stare out at the view, his hands grabbing his phone from the seat next to him. When he hears the bubble like sound form his phone, he looks down, tearing his away from the beautiful scenery and unlocking his phone, watching the bubbles spread in the direction he swiped his thumb. 

He thumbs through multiple apps closing the previously opened ones after and once his palette is clear, he taps on the messaging app he has, scrolling through and finding their name, at the bottom of the list. 

"Last message sent on: **/**/2012. Delivered."

"Not read," Kyungsoo whispers, feeling his Adam's apple bob up and down slightly as he gulps in nervousness. He's not good with words; horrible, actually. He's afraid to destroy whatever they might have left; to destroy his last hope. Maybe theirs as well. But, despite his fears, he begins to tap at his Samsung's screen. 

"To: (Y/N) (Y/L/N)

From: Do Kyungsoo

Body:

It's been a longtime. Ever since we broke up. I hope you're doing well. I've started to think about you. In times of resfeber. I remember when you would cheer me up with daebokki. With lots of cheese, haha... I didn't want us to break up on a bad note but we ended up... doing that. I'm still using weird words. When I think too much. I bet you're scolding me in your head while reading. 'They're not weird. They're beautiful.' 

Do you remember how many times you've had to say that to me? You were like mirabilia to me. 

You still are. 

Text back when you can. I'm eager to know if you're okay."

Send. 

He watches the top of the screen load, waiting to see the words "Delivered," in the top right corner. "Where are you, ja..." He stops his tongue, locking his phone one again and tossing it to the side, relieved his lack of aim didn't hurt him. At that moment, the other members of EXO flood into the room, smiling at him and singing his name. Kyungsoo doesn't respond, instead staring into the view again. His caliginous attitude surprising some of the members, but not Suho, Kai, or Chanyeol. They usher the members out of the room and into their rooms, leaving the male in the room, to contemplate a bit more.