Through His Eyes/ In Her Eyes (KISSWARD)

Heartbreaks

Edward's Pov

My feelings for Heaven is getting deeper as time pass by. I was all drawn to her that I somehow forgot to mingle with the other housemates.

As for my best mate, Marco, he was once again close to another girl inside the house. This time it's Vivoree.

All I thought is that there is something going on between Kisses and him but when I asked him he said he treats Kisses just as his friend and nothing more.

But on the other way round, When I look to Kisses I know he don't see Marco as just her friend. There is something else the way she look at him. I see myself on Kisses.

One morning, the members of Hashtags showed up inside the house. Hashtags is a boy group well known in the Philippines. Now, I saw Heaven in a new way. She was beyond happy to see Paulo, a member of the group. Not until now I knew Paulo was courting Heaven outside the house before and what broke my heart is when Heaven told me what she feels towards him.

"I thought I like you more than being a friend, but I was wrong. I'm sorry." Heaven looked at me apologetically.

"Oh.." I looked away from her. "It's.. It's not your fault."

"But, Edward I know how it hurts. I didn't mean to make you feel that way. I thought I don't like Paulo anymore but when I saw him, all the feelings came back."

"It's okay Heaven, I understand." I whispered.

"But I hope, we're still bestfriends?" She hopefully asked.

"Yeah sure. Best friends." I said the gave her a small smile.

All I want to do is cry. I shouldn't have let myself fall. I thought she feel the same way towards me, but I guess I'm not enough. I'm always not enough. What's wrong with me?

I hate it. I hate myself. I should have built my walls higher and stronger but I like what happened right? I want her to want me too.

I went to Big Brother and confessed what I really feel.

"Kuya, I just wanted someone to talk about what I feel." I said opening up.

I don't want to speak to Marco about this knowing that he's having a good time with Vivoree.

"Edward.." Big brother started.

"Yes kuya?" I said with a grim line. Now I don't need to pretend and smile.

"I know what happened but I need to tell you that you are still teenagers, it's alright to feel attached to people. Especially having a special someone." Kuya reminded.

"I know kuya, but it hurts. I love her that it hurts. But she doesn't feel the same way." I said on the verge of tears.

"You know, part of loving is risking yourself. If you love, you also accept the fact that you'll be hurt. You are still young Edward. There will still a lot of girls in this world that you will meet in the future."

I just nodded in response, listening carefully to Big brother's words.

"For now, what you need to do is open yourself up to the other people around you. To the other housemates. Lately I've seen that you are not that close with the others. Why not start sharing with them?"

"Thank you kuya. I'll try and try not to chose people I'll be close with now. I'll remember what you have said." I said with a smile looking to no one.

For now, it still hurts but this will pass. Time will heal these wounds. I might not be happy right now but I'll be looking at the brighter side.

Kisses Pov

I had leave some space with Marco now. Whether Heaven said was real or not, I decided to move away from him.

But I don't know if Heaven is right or if having some space with him is right. One day Marco suddenly stick to Vivoree. He didn't even bother to check me up.

What happened between us? Are what they keep on telling me right?

This keep on happening every single day. And every single day my heart breaks even more. I stare at them when they are messing around. When Marco treat her the way he treated me before. I look at them with a pang of jealousy inside me. I can't bear to look at them being sweet all over. I just cant.

When I cant hold back everything anymore, I went to the confession room and talked to Big brother.

"Kuya.." I started calling Big brother.

"Kisses." He called back.

When I heard brig brother's voice my tears started to fall and find it's way to come out.

I don't care if my face crumples right now. I need to voice out what I feel because if not, I'd may go crazy bringing it around each second I breathe.

"Kuya, Marco told me that he really likes Vivoree." I sobbed. "It hurts kuya."

"Kisses, why are you crying?"

"I'll admit the truth Big Brother. I like Marco. I like him more than I should be." Then I continued to cry.

"Kisses, I know how much it hurts. But, you are still young. These past few days the Kisses all the housemates know was missing out. You are not that energetic and jolly anymore. I've been waiting for you to open up. I know you are a brilliant lady. I hope you'll make this as a lesson for your life."

"Kuya, I know about it but I can't do anything to be like before. My heart was destroyed enough. I though Marco was already the one. The one who'll make me a priority. The one who will take care of me more than the way I care about others. I though he saw me differently. I thought he think I'm special but..." Then I cried harder.

"Kisses, I want you to know that you are special. maybe Marco is not the guy to see you. But there will be someone who will see how worthy you are. But you need to believe that you are worth loving. There are a lot of other guys out there. But first, you need to see your own worth. Because no one in the world will know your worth other than yourself."

"But Kuya, I was there. I already believe he wanted me the way I want him. I thought.. I thought..." I couldn't finish what I want to say. "Every time there is someone who get close to me and who I care.. They end up leaving me. I'm always the second option. I'm tired of being left out in space. I want someone to choose me first. But I guess nobody wanted to. I felt not worthy of anything."

"Kisses, there are still a lot to be learned. You are still young. Live your life. One heartbreak won't leave you totally broken. There are still those people who love you. You should instead divert your attention to them. Make this as a lesson and a inspiration. You've got the heart Kisses. Bigger than others. Spread that love and you will see the happiness." Kuya reminded me.

Finally. My tears subsided. "Thank you kuya, for being there. I really didn't know what to do anymore."

"If you still don't feel okay at all, you can always talk to me Kisses."

"Yes kuya. Right now I am getting there. Thank you."