Burning Moon (Wattpad Version)

Alternative Ending- FINAL, FINAL, FINAL CHAPTER

Embarrassment.

Anger.

Hatred.

These three emotions are so entwined, like the twisting strands of the DNA that makes us up and allows us to even feel them.

Because, right now, I was totally, utterly, wholly and completely embarrassed. The feeling was so intense that it made my cheeks sting and my skin crawl.

I had come all this way. I had ridden an elephant, canoed through snake -infested waters and spent a fortune on a plane ticket to travel half way across the world when my feelings were clearly not reciprocated. Jess obviously dIdn't know Damien as well as she thought she did!

But the embarrassment soon gave way to anger. Burning, blazing anger that could definitely kill. I was furious with Damien, with myself, with the world and not to mention the flickering romantic candles and stupid scattered petals that seemed to be taunting me.

And now... cue hatred. I hated him! I hated this stupid party, the fucking moon, the rotten steps that I'd just climbed practically dislocating my Gluteus Maximus as I went, and I certainly hated elephants and airplanes and anything else associated with this total disaster.

And now, I was madly vacillating between all of them.

How could he? (Anger again)

But of course he could. It's not like I owned him, or had any claim to him. It was my naïve fault for thinking that I did. (Embarrassment)

That bastard! (Hatred)

Every synapse in my brain was firing on full steam, creating a horrible whirlwind of thoughts that I knew were absolutely irrational, but I just couldn't help it. 

I bet he's planning a big, hot night of sex with some hot, cool chick... maybe its that German girl. Yes, she looked suspicious and positively slutty. No one can be that beautiful, it's not right, it's not natural and it's not fair. But it looks like it's more than just sex. In fact, on closer inspection, all this romance could only mean one thing, surely? Guy's don't go to the effort of lighting hundreds of candles and laying flowers if they aren't planning something big.

A proposal?!? (Wildly irrational, I know.)

Oh my God I'm so stupid... how long have they been dating? And their kids will probably be supermodels. Clever, Astrophysicist, supermodel children born with six packs and great hair.

Of course he didn't love me. Of course he hadn't been curled up in the fetal position pinning for me all year. He's probably been having the time of his life, shagging up a storm.

I hate him.

No, I love him.

Bastard.

God my mind was a mess right now.

I needed to get away. Make a quick escape before he saw me, I didn't think I'd be able to bare the humiliation of a face-to-face confrontation. So I started inching backwards; my trembling legs were barely able to support my body. I was shaking with rage. I was nauseous and flushed with embarrassment, not to mention violently wringing my hands. If I was so inclined, I might punch him. Smack him right between those perfect eyes and hopefully leave a big, painful bruise. How would Heidi Klum like him then?

I'd almost made my way to the steps when something suddenly stopped me.

A thought.

I'd come all this way. I'd taken a risk, I'd been totally prepared to wear my heart on my sleeve and put myself out there in the most vulnerable way possible. And that is nothing to be embarrassed about. To walk away from this now without saying something to him....I would regret that for the rest of my life.