Spirit

The Birthday and one crazy boyfriend

Even though I had a slight doubt that God would help me, I still somehow strongly believed that he would bless my relationship. He was very caring and loving. But that took a turn for the... well, let me explain.

So, at first it was a very wonderful relationship. We felt like we were meant for each other, and we didn't want to let it go. Then, a couple weeks before my birthday, he had become a slight bit obsessive.

If you want an accurate description of what happened and how bad it was, you could very well say he wanted to theme my party after me and have singing balloons with my face on it, and a cake with my face on it (perhaps like a selfie or something that he had but still) like what? I dunno man, he was pretty crazy. I brushed it off.

We were at the party and he stayed generally not creepy. But part of me felt like he was a bit weird and clingy, he would never leave my side like a little puppy dog, and was constantly kissing and hugging me. I loved him but...

Stop kissing me.

So much.

Please.

I can't go one minute without this.

Literally I wish I was joking god help me. And btw he was clingy since the halfway mark. (We dated for about 6 months)

Anyways.... After the party we were texting and I believe he was telling me how beautiful I was and I finally just said, "are you obbsessed with me? Like, if you are how bad is it really?"

His response: "if you left I would kill myself." WHAT THE HELL?? Well that went from 0-100 really fast that's for sure. How did I get out of this situation? Well, god was not really an option, but I still went for it as a last stand sort of thing. I felt like I was obligated to be with a maniac who would die if I left him, and I didn't even love him anymore!

So all in all, like the girl I was, I basically said "fuck this I'm taking matters into my own hands" except I really didn't and I just told my mom. Now at this point she still thinks I'm perfectly Christian, so anything I say that slightly suggests I have moved on will make her think otherwise. Now ask yourself, what could possibly go wrong?

Everything.

I caught him staring at my friends uh... unmentionables.. at my party, and well you can already guess how fast that shit ended.

When part of me still believed in God, I secretly hoped he would keep us together. But now I'm glad we fell apart cuz that guy was fuckin weirddddd.

But that isn't what led me away from god, no. Boys seem like first world problems when it comes to the REAL reason why... And it gets kinda heavy on family problems so if u get triggered by that be wary of the next chapter.