The final nail in the coffin

Speech

The funeral seamed to be lasting forever. Connie was counting down the minutes until she had to stand up in front of everyone and tell them about Jacob. About stuff they knew. About stuff they didn't. Tears began to fall as she recalled the speech in her head. Then the time came for her to speak.
"Now we are going to have some words from Jacobs partner Connie." The vicar spoke. Connie stood up and straightened her dress and whipped her tears before making her way to where Jacobs coffin was. She ran her fingers over his picture and then his coffin telling him she loved him. She cleared her throat and looked out at everyone there. The church was full. He was such a loved man and it broke Connie's heart. She cleared her throat once more.
"Jacob, my laugh, my smile, my rock. Not only were you these things but you were my best friend and my lover. I'm not ready to say goodbye. So I'll not be saying it. It will be more of a see you later kind of thing. You know me. Rubbish at speeches *chuckled* but for you Mr Masters, I'll do anything. I remember the first day you came into my ED carrying that young woman. Boy did my heart skip a beat for you. I couldn't let my feelings show though. You were everything I was looking for in a man. Tall, handsome, funny and caring. But also honest. And I broke that part about honesty. And everyone here knows how. I promised you I would leave Rita yet I still went back to her. Yet you still took me back. That's the thing about you jay. You never give up on anyone. No words can describe how much I'm missing you, your laugh and your voice. And it pains me knowing that one day I won't be able to remember the sound of your voice or the sound of your laugh.i was stupid to have not got with you sooner. We could have had so many more memories. But thanks to Michael that was cut short *swallowed back tears* you'll always be my muscles and I'll never be anyone else's sweetcheeks. I could never move on from you. Ever. I may in the future but now I just want you back *began sobbing* I remember the arm wrestle that was the day I realised I wanted you, and I was gonna get you. And if it wasn't for that patient, flow, the one that was going to move to Australia. I wouldn't have acted upon it. You made me whole Jacob Masters *looked as Rita ran out* and now with youve gone I can never be whole again. Me and grace love you. Everyone in this room loves you! *looked out at everyone again addressing them* he loved us all. He couldn't hate or even strongly dislike someone even if he tried. And we all know that Jacob wouldn't want us going around feeling sorry for ourself he would want us enjoying ourselves *she felt so hypercritical* and I know I'm not the easiest person to talk to but I promised Jacob the day he died that I will be there for anyone who just wants a chat. My evil front will be dropped. Our conversations will remain confidential. And anything you say will not be held against you. Jacob was my man and a friend to all of us. And I remember him once saying to me. 'The brightest star you see at night. That's the person you hold close to your heart that can no longer be here with us anymore.' And I know that several of us will be looking at that star. And thinking of Jacob. My Jacob. Your Jacob. Our Jacob...." she finished her speech in a similar way to how she started and she looked to her hand to see grace in tears gripping her hand. Connie knelt down infront of her and hugged her tight. Tears flooding her face.
"I want Jacob back mum!" The young girl sobbed in Connie.
"I know baby girl. One day we will be with him again I promise." Connie kissed the girls head and walked back to the seats. She hadn't realised that her dress had risen as she sat down and Charlie seen the true extent of her cutting on her legs.
"I thought I was only your arms that was bad" He looked at her. Connie hated him for bringing it up in the church.
"Thansk for that Charlie!" She ran out the church and hit the wall
"Fuck! Crap! Shit!" she yelled holding her own hand
"Now that wasn't very cleaver was it" an unfamiliar voice spoke and Connie turned to look.
"Chrissie??" She stood shocked. "Why are you here?" The young girl walked over and hugged Connie sympathetically.
"I couldn't let you go through this alone could I. You needed someone slightly older than everyone you trust apart from Charlie" chrissie smiled. "So here I am..... mum"