(This chapter could be a trigger to some readers; with references and scenes of self harm)
It had been a month since Jacob had passed away and Micheal had been arrested and interrogated until he admitted what he had done to Jacob. He also admitted to what he had done to Connie in the past. Connie had gone through the court case and was in a really downward spiral.
It was the day of Jacobs funeral and Connie and grace were staying in a hotel just outside Holby "Mum just come out the bathroom please" Gracie cried as she heard her mums whimpers. 'Not again' the little girl thought to herself. "Two minute...agh" Connie spoke up as she guided the blade across a healing cut. She had established if she opened up old cuts again there would be less on her body. Its not like she wanted to cut. But she felt she didn't have a choice. Even though everyone knew that it was Micheal that had killed Jacob, everyone was looking at her funny, well she thought they were. They were actually looks of sympathy. "Mum please stop it!..." Grace sobbed "...otherwise I will tell Charlie" grace regretted her words straight away as she heard a loud cry from the bathroom. Connie had done a fresh cut. Long and deep. "No!! Don't even think about it grace" Connies voice sounded.
Fifteen minutes later Connie came out the bathroom her cuts dressed and blood cleaned up. She looked into the young girl eyes. "I'll never forget what you've just said!" She snapped. Grace looked away from her mum and teared. "The funerals in two hours mum be ready!" Grace went into her room.
Half hour passed and Connie was stood out side on the balcony ready for the funeral and someone called her. She answered then her face dropped.
Oops! This image does not follow our content guidelines. To continue publishing, please remove it or upload a different image.
She had been on the phone for at least twenty minutes "Okay thanks for that" Connie ended the call and looked to grace who had a frightened look on her face. "Yeah I would be looking like that to grace if I was in your shoes!! How could you?! Are you stupid or what!!" Connie yelled at the young girl. "Mum please I'm so--" she was cut off by Connie "Save it for someone who gives a shit grace!" Connie stormed inside and poured herself a large glass of red wine. Grace walked over and took the glass from her mums hand then sat on her lap and hugged her tight. Connie hugged back tears streamed down here cheeks. "I'm sorry princess I'm really sorry!" She sobbed into grace. "Please get help mummy. Let Charlie help you" grace said burying her head in connies neck. Connie just simply nodded and looked at the time "We best get going baby." Connie spoke and Grace got off her lap.
They arrived at the funeral forty-five minutes early to help the vicar lay down the order of services on the benches in the church. Connie stood at the front stroking her fingers down the photo of Jacob that was going on his coffin. "I'll always love you Jacob masters. I was stupid to of not admitted it the first day I got feelings for you.." she teared and looked as she felt Charlie's hand on her shoulder.
"We need to talk Connie" he spoke softly. Connie nodded and walked outside. "Make this quick Charlie" she spoke unable to look at him out of shame. "How long?" Charlie asked "The day after he died" Connie spoke knowing he meant 'how long have you been cutting'. It was hard for Connie to admit it but he need to know. "You should have spoken to me Connie I would have help you. Why didn't you talk to me?" He teared hugging her "Because I though it was a one off Charlie. I thought I could stop. I thought I wouldn't rely on it but I do now. It's my smile Charlie. It takes all my guilt out so I can smile. Please understand!" She broke down clinging to his top. He rubbed her back which was just bones. It was evident that the depth of her grief was more than just cutting now.
"When did you last eat?" He asked getting angry now. Not at Connie. But himself. Connie was basically his daughter and he felt like a terrible father for no noticing her clothes being baggy, her face becoming thinner, and sleeves becoming longer, her skirts getting longer eventually turning to trousers, how could he be so blind. Connie looked away instead of answering the question. He held her arm and raised his voice "When did you last eat!" Connie yelped as he grabbed her arm right when her fresh cut was; a tear fell as he refused to let go until she answered. "The day before he died!" said quickly pulling arm back and sleeve up revealing her now open cut "Thanks Charlie !!" She snapped and tears left his eyes as he looked at the blood down her arm. "I-I'm sorry Connie." His voice was shaky "No your not!!" Cried pulling bandages from her bag passing then Charlie. "You dress it!" Snapped violently. He nodded doing so. "I am sorry Connie." His voice was genuine and apologetic.
Grace came out cautiously "It's about to start mummy." She half smiled. Connie smiled at her and nodded "Okay baby I'll be in in a second." Grace smiled and walked back inside. Connie hugged Charlie. "I know your sorry Charlie" spoke softly. "Let me help Connie?" He asked holding her cheek. To his surprise she nodded "Okay Charlie. If you promise to go at my pace and not force me?" "I promise Connie" he smiled and hugged her tight. He blinked back tears and looked into her eyes. "I can sit at the front with you if you want Connie." He spoke "Please Charlie will you?" She looked down "Of course. Let's head inside now yeah" he replied and Connie nodded. They followed Jacobs coffin in and Connie clung to Charlie. Before sitting down. This was it. Time to say goodbye...
