You Are My Life

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They are idiots, all of them. The High Lady of the Night Court has successfully infiltrated the Spring Court for over three weeks now and they are none-the-wiser.

First arriving here was horrific knowing that I would be split from my family. Stepping foot in the prison that once held me was hard; especially since I have no idea how long I am to become a prisoner here. Away from my true home. Away from...

Rhys.

My High Lord. My mate.

My body craves his touch, to smell his calming scent - the scent that is mingled with mine. Something I am extra wary about around Tamlin, he cannot know that the mating bond is still there. I want to feel him surround me, consume me. I want to tease him, to feel his strength.

Just him.

Obviously, he feels the same; I can feel the glimmer of his lust down our deep bond, against my shields that remain up for my protection - Tamlin could possess anything thanks to Hybern's backing and I am not rising my powers being restrained or my plan being foiled.

Lucien was bad enough on my arrival, the loss of his newly-found mate, my sister, has left him constantly agitated, his instincts possessing him - just like Rhys has warned me after our mating bond clicked in place. He only accepts my presence now but seems to have grown less and less suspicious as his need for his mate consumes him.

At least, the anger we hold for each other is now out in the open. The conversation we shared a mere two days after returning here seemed to sort things out, a small amount anyway.

"Feyre, I know you are planning something against us. You are still with them." Lucien's says as he walks up behind me as I take a stroll in the gardens. I can feel the eyes of the multiple guards who are tracking each of my movements; so much for being free as Tamlin had promised me.

I turn to face him, crossing my arms over my chest.

"I am not sure what you mean, Lucien." I say, furrowing my brows.

He stands, shifting his feet apart more as if preparing to attack.

"That day in the forest, you would have killed me; you were preparing to do so. You were one of them..."

"I had no control of my actions, Lucien. If I had harmed you, it would have been Rhysand's doing."

No." Lucien says, stepping forward. Both eyes fix on me. "You allowed your sisters, my mate, to be taken by the Night Court when we were in Hybern. You are keeping secrets, Feyre. That bond between you and Rhysand may have been broken, but you still belong with the Night Court; not the Spring Court with us."

You have absolutely no idea, Lucien.

His body seems to shake as his anger simmers. He wants to hit me but I will give him no such satisfaction.

"You have absolutely no idea about what I have gone through." I say to Lucien, my anger seeping out at his words. "You knew the human Feyre, but you do not know me. You ignored me after I became Fae. I desperately needed a friend but you were too scared to say a single thing to Tamlin. It was almost a blessing when Rhysand took me on my wedding day - I almost said no to Tamlin in front of the entire court because I could not subject myself to what he was doing to me." My hands turn into fists, an attempt at preventing the talons that threaten to break free. I cannot show the extent of my powers and the control I have over them; but the anger is too much.

"You let him cage me in this house and watched as I begged him to come back. You watched me suffer day after day but did not say a word. I was wasting away, becoming nothing more than skin and bone, but you did not even try to help me." Tears begin to sting my eyes - this moment is not an act, this is real.