//alien// phan- pbb fic

//chapter one: who the fuck are you and why are you in my bedroom?//

"Damnit Liguori! Hand over the control panel!" A raven haired man snatched away what seemed to be a steering wheel-like instrument from a green-eyed accomplice. The man, Liguori, was slammed against the side of the ship, all the air brutally knocked out of him as the other man attempted to dodge yet another asteroid. Gravity, he reminded himself, is indeed a bitch. He swore quietly. They were going to crash.

"Christ..." he whispered softly before realizing- "Phil, move! The control-"

It was almost too late but he took a chance knowing that Philip Lester would never abandon his control panel, not when he knew his ship was in danger. He tackled Phil, covering Phil's body with his own, shielding him as sparks flew from the control panel as a result of the impact of the crash. The two boys felt the force of it course through their bones. Shocked, the green-eyed, curly haired man shakily stood, brushing away a layer of space dust off of his clothes that had not been there previously.

Phil Lester stood up stiffly. "I could've saved us, but I could have saved her." he said gesturing broadly at his surroundings as if to indicate the ship.

"No you couldn't have Phil, and that's fine! She was bound to crash anyway, what with all those meteors flying towards us!"

"I could have dodged them!" Phil was now yelling in a sort of desperation.

"Yes, sure, theoretically you could have avoided the stupid meteors. Theoretically you could have also gotten yourself killed. Anyways, none of that matters now because she's crashed, okay, she's fucking crashed Phil Lester and there's nothing you can do about it. So for god's sake, instead of moaning about it and trying to blame someone do something about it!" Phil's whole body tensed. He was the captain of this ship and no one told him what to do. He stared coldly back at PJ before swiftly turning around and murmuring something about exploring.

*****

Dan Howell awoke lazily at around lunchtime as the golden afternoon sun poured in through his window. He sighed in contentment, brushing the flowers that tangled his green hair (if you could call it hair) back. He wished his hair wouldn't curl up like this- it didn't match is aesthetic. To be honest, none of his natural appearance matched his aesthetic. He was all green and pastel and he wasn't sure if he entirely liked it. That was one of the cons of basically being a glorified plant. He sighed, stretching his stems in an attempt to sit up but he found he didn't have the willpower to do so and instead leaned back into the comfort and security of his soft pillow, basking peacefully in the glow of the stars overhead. He smiled softly into his pillow. Summer had started. For most other children, of other species, that might be a comforting thought because summer was the time when the sun made their minds lazy with the heat, and the delirium that ensued became an excuse as to why they allowed themselves to act like blissful fools. For Dan however, it meant plenty of photosynthesis. Also his flowers looked semi-ok in the summer when they weren't busy drooping all over the place. He hated it when they started to wilt without properly falling off. He found them annoying and useless in the first place so when they just started to go slack it was almost infuriating.

Dan was just beginning to let the land of sleep take him when he heard a sudden creak from the terrace below his. It was probably his parents or his brother or a pesky neighbor coming to remind him (or rather scorn and berate him) to get out of bed. He groaned loudly, rolling into what he thought was yet another flower bed where his brother had slept previously before realizing it was gone as his head collided none too softly with some rocks.

"Fuck," Dan moaned in pain. How could he be so stupid- obviously there had been rocks there- Dan knew that! "B-but," Dan started to form the words he was thinking slowly, as if his mouth was drowning in molasses. The words rolled off his tongue roughly as he brushed a bit of sleep off of his shoulders. "The rocks- they were always there -I mean we couldn't really move them could we?- but there had always, always," he mumbles for emphasis, "a bed to cover it." He pondered the predicament for a moment. Really it wasn't so strange and in the tired state that he was in, he would've dismissed his suspicions. But Dan Howell was pissed and Dan Howell was awake and Dan Howell hadn't had much sleep and Dan Howell's head hurt. Dan was too annoyed to let this go. He reminisced for a second about the bed. It had been soft and it had been comfortable and colorful. Surprisingly, it was really good quality for a cheap bed from Ikea. (Ikea was of a massive size now. It had begun as a small store in Mars and then spread to Earth, Venus- all over the galaxy.)