Prompt:
[Warning for mentions of self-mutilation, as well as attempted suicide]
And it all led to tonight, where Harry nearly downed a bottle of pills he had left in his bathroom. He had gotten as far as putting them into his mouth, his way out was right there, but he knew he couldn't do that to Niall. He didn't think of Louis as he spit them out one by one, flushing them down the toilet with the rest. Because he knew Louis didn't care, otherwise he would've stopped ignoring him, he would've.
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Work Text:
He didn't know what else to do. He knew what he was doing was wrong, but he couldn't stop himself. He needed his old best friend, he needed Louis.
After the stress of 'Larry Stylinson', it pulled the two apart. Harry found himself falling apart, but Louis seemed to be okay; he had Eleanor. Harry tried to find someone else, he did, but nobody could replace the hole in his heart that Louis had left.
They hadn't ever been together, but their friendship drifted. He started calling less, he started talking to the others instead, purposely avoiding him. Harry didn't know what to do, he had found himself lost. And to this day, he never found himself. Louis was his map, the one that always directed him back to earth. But now he was gone, and he didn't know what to do.
Niall had tried to fix him, he really did, but nothing he did could help. Harry fell into a deep, deep depression, one which his mother couldn't even fix. He was able to live up for the cameras, but inside, he felt himself diminishing. The one person who was always there for him, wasn't anymore. And he couldn't understand why.
Months seemed to drift and drift by, and eventually, he started to feel a little less numb. It was still there, gnawing away at every piece of his being, but not as much. But then it happened, the one thing Harry had hoped would never happen.
Louis proposed to Eleanor. Right in front of him.
It wasn't just him, it was the other boys as well. Everyone had cooed and cheered at the couple, other than Harry. He just watched as the person he loved slipped further out of his fingers, leaving him cold. He had run out that night, and Louis had immediately felt guilty (Though Harry never knew that), and he was the one who made Niall check on him.
Niall was glad that Louis had reminded him to go, because he found the kid in a puddle of his own tears, emptying his stomach at some restaurant's bathroom across the street.
And after that, he just wasn't the same. He went back to feeling numb, and this time, he really couldn't hide anything. Louis seemed to purposely keep his eyes away, which made him hurt even more.
That's when he had found the scissors on the counter, and decided to swipe the blade harshly across his delicate skin. But he hadn't known what he was doing, and he had cut too deep. He had called Louis on accident, he meant Niall, he did, and he had started crying and blurting out everything he'd done before he could realize who was on the other end.
Louis had taken him, begging to know why he would do such a thing. He never got an answer, and while they fixed the gashes on his wrist, he whispered sweet nothings to the boy sitting broken before him, unable to keep still as he stared off.
After that, Louis kept his eyes on him, but nothing was ever said. And he always glanced away before Harry could notice, so he felt like he did before the incident. Maybe even worse, because Louis had seen first-hand what he was doing to him, and still didn't say anything.
And that all led to tonight, where Harry nearly downed a bottle of pills he had left in his bathroom. He had gotten as far as putting them into his mouth, his way out was right there, but he knew he couldn't do that to Niall. He didn't think of Louis as he spit them out one by one, flushing them down the toilet with the rest. Because he knew Louis didn't care, otherwise he would've stopped ignoring him, he would've.
