The Way You Love Me

1. Little Pieces

"Hi!" I smiled nervously all the while murdering Luke inside my head.

"What are you doing here?" It was Caleb who asked the question. They both were still sitting on that bench with one of their arm on the backside of the seat. They were facing each other. Under their gaze, I felt like a culprit. I pulled the hand holding the rose behind my back.

"I-I-I-" I stuttered.

"I've to see Lana." Luke interrupted and stood up and said goodbye to Caleb. He walked past me but didn't forget to give me a thumb up.

"Jerk," I muttered under my breath as he left. I glared at the green grass.

"Ash? What are you doing here?" Caleb's curious voice asked me. My head snapped in his direction.

I opened my mouth and closed it not knowing what to say. My mind had gone blank. Words were swirling inside my head. It was heard to grasp the right words and say. What if I say something wrong? But I can't say something wrong. I can't afford messing this up. Right words, true feelings. That's it. How difficult it can be. Quite difficult.

"Come. Sit here." He patted the place beside him. I hesitantly walked to him and took the seat which Luke was previously occupying. "Are you alright? You're acting weird."

"I-I'm okay. N-N-Nothing's wrong." I shrugged trying to sound casual.

He gave me a curious look. It was clearly written on his face that he didn't believe me. His pale blue eyes searched mine and I held his gaze. Dirty blonde hair were covering his forehead. His handsome face was facing me.

"Are you sure?" He inquired.

"Y-Yeah." I tried to sound casual again but it didn't work. He still had the same look on his face. I sighed knowing I was going nowhere with that.

"Listen," I started without stuttering. "I like you. And I want you to be my date for prom."

There. I said it. I felt like a huge weight was lifted from my chest. I finally I did something. Accomplishment. I was able to breathe after that.

A look of shock crossed his face. I saw it clearly. It was soon replaced by nervousness. "You mean like me as a friend?" He asked hesitantly.

"No, as an enemy." I answered with the omnipresent sarcasm in my voice. He blinked a couple of times at my words. I realized it was not something I should have said. Before he could say anything, I spoke again to clear any confusion.

"I like you as more than a friend, Caleb. I've liked you for long." I told him.

The change in the brightness of his eyes was enough to tell me that I had committed a mistake. He did not like me like that.

All my fears were confirmed with that simple look. He didn't need to say anything at all. It was already clear to me. He didn't love me.

"Ash... listen," he extended his hand to me. I shifted away from him and tried to keep my face blank.

I felt heartbroken and I felt humiliated. What have I just done? I didn't only manage to get rejected by my best friend but also jeopardized our friendship. I am so damn stupid.

I should have known. I should have known. When the guy says that he loves you the way you love him, it is just a dream. Or a stupid movie. In real life things like this don't happen. The reality is so damn bitter. And right now my heart is so broken.

I've hardly ever cried in my life. But at that moment, tears stung in the back of my eyes. It hurt so much. Why did it hurt so badly?

"It's alright," I choked out. My voice sounded thick. The lump in my throat was making it hard for me to say anything. "I understand."