Last To Know

20

He smiled at me—and that smile alone made my whole body flood with happiness. I'd never known that my feelings could be so in tune with someone else's, but with Maddox we were in sync.

I knew then that I was in love with him.

This wasn't the kind of love that was fleeting.

It was real and true.

It was a forever kind of love.

This realization didn't scare me—not the way it might have a few months ago. Instead, it made me smile. I'd managed to find the one person on the planet that was absolutely perfect for me.

"Where are we going now?" I asked, laying my head on his shoulder watching the world whip by us through the windshield.

"Does it matter?" He asked.

"No," I replied.

As long as I was with him I knew only good things could be headed my way.

***

"I've always wanted to come here," Maddox told me, parking the car along the side of the road.

We were high up on the edge of the mountain and I knew that straight down below us was the river.

Maddox slipped from the car, walking to the edge.

I did the same, sitting down so my legs dangled over the side.

Below us I could see people at the water's edge. It was flowing too fast for swimming or kayaking. It was beautiful though—the way the water lapped against the rocks and the greenery of the trees blanketing the area.

Maddox sat down beside me, looking up towards the sky before speaking. "Sometimes I forget just how beautiful it is here." He closed his eyes, letting out a deep breath. "For so long all I wanted to do was get away, and now I can't imagine living anywhere else."

I wrapped my hands around his arm and laid my head on his shoulder. "I know what you mean."

"Do you ever think you'll see him again?" He asked suddenly.

"Who?" I replied, confused.

"Your dad," he whispered.

I shrugged. "I doubt it. Yeah, it sucked that he left, but I'm better off with him gone. If he showed up tomorrow and apologized for everything he's done, then maybe I could forgive him and move on...but without an apology, he isn't worth my time. People should own up to their mistakes instead of brushing it under the rug. I can't forget about what he did, but I could forgive him if he asked me to—if he proved to me that he deserved it. But I don't think I'll hear from him ever again. I used to not be okay with that..." I trailed off. Refocusing, I added, "But now I am." I lifted my head to look at him. "Why do you ask?"

He shrugged.

"Maddox," I urged.

He glanced out at the water, a muscle in his jaw twitching. "I've been thinking about my mom lately...and wondering if I could ever stomach seeing her again...and I don't think I can. I know the past is the past, but I can't forgive her for everything she did to us. Especially to Mathias. Does that make me a shitty person?" When he looked at me I could see the worry swimming in his silvery gaze. "Does that make me just like her?"

"No, not at all," I said quickly. "You went through a lot and someone like your mom—I'm sorry, but I don't think they change. Some people are just mean."

"You're right." He cupped my cheek, kissing the top of my head. He swallowed thickly, looking down at the water and kicking his feet against the ledge. "I never want to end up like her."

"You won't."

"How can you be so sure?" He asked, his eyes full of pain. I didn't like seeing him hurt like this.

"Because you're already nothing like her. You're a good, kind person."

He winced, like my words had stabbed him. "I'm a liar."

"No, you're not," I shook my head.

"I am." His jaw tightened and when he looked at me I swore there were tears in his eyes, but the moisture disappeared quickly. "But I can't regret my decisions. I won't."

"Maddox, what are you talking about?" I was completely lost. Where was this coming from?

He shook his head rapidly back and forth. He stood up, extending his hand for me. "Now's not the time."

"When will be the time?" I pestered. Something was really bothering him and I wanted to get to the bottom of it.

He looked away from my eyes and once again stared beyond at the breathtaking view.

"Never."