arms // {phan}

chapter four - phil

I heard Howellâs muffled laugh as he tried to cover his mouth with his hands fisted in his grey jumper.

I smiled, turning back to the road. Compelling though it was, getting into a car crash instead of facing the humiliation of my parents, wasnât on the top of my âto-do listâ.

âSo how does that work?â I asked, watching Howell out of the corner of my eye. âThe whole not talking thing. I mean, you can laugh and make noises and stuff, but not talk? I thought if you couldnât talk that meant your vocal cords were damaged or somethinâ?â

I pulled up to the front of my house, and the edge of my tires grinding the corner of the pavement as Howell mulled over my question- or ignored it. Either was possible when it came to Howell.

I shifted the car into park and turned off the engine as I looked over at him.

âHowell?â I prompted.

He lifted his left hand ready to sign before he curled it into a fist and shook his head.

I sighed. I admit I was slightly disappointed, but I wasnât going to be an idiot and push Howell when he didnât want to talk about something- I wasnât Tweedle Dee and Tweedle Dum.

âThatâs fair.â I said. âI know some things are personal. But, before we go in I forgot to tell you something,â I continued, rubbing my hand on the back of my neck. âIâve never really brought anybody home before, so Iâm guessing my parents are going to be a bit âoh look hereâs Philâs baby bookâ and âwould you like another cup of tea or a jumperâ and âoh dearyâ. Jesus fucking Christ thereâs going to be a Iot âoh dearyââs.â

I closed my eyes and rubbed my hands over my face- just trying to mentally prepare myself for the bombardment that was going to come.

âOkay,â I said at last, opening the car door. âLetâs go.â

I walked up the front steps as I heard Howellâs door close and his hesitant foot steps behind me. I pulled out my keys from my pocket and stuck them in the lock.

âHey mum,â I said as I opened the door. âIâm home.â

I pushed Howell in front and closed the door behind me as I slammed my back against it.

âPhillllllll,â I heard as Neil tromped towards us, stopping abruptly when he saw Howell.

âWhoâs that?â Neil said accusatory, pointing at Howell with his tiny index finger.

âWhoâs who?â my mum said popping into the hallway.

I knocked my head against the door again, shutting my eyes. Penny in the air.

âThis is Dan Howell,â I ground out, eyes still closed.

âOh! This is so nice! Weâve never met one of Philâs friends before!â

Penny drops.

I opened my eyes. âYeah, Howell and I are just going to hang out in my room for a bit.â I said, grabbing Howellâs hand and dragging him past my mum and Neil who was still pointing repeatedly like he was pressing a button.

âMum! Look! Look! Phil has an actual friend.â Neil said.

âYes, yes, I see honey,â my mum responded. âAnd before you go Phil,â she continued, stopping us before we could make a dash to the safety of my room. â Dan, will you be staying for dinner?â

Howell looked between my mum and I, eyes wide, probably feeling caught in the middle of the complete mess that this situation was turning out to be.