Sacrifices (Dean Winchester x Reader)

Close To Me.

"Do you know why Bobby sent us here?"

"Yeah, because I wasn't going to ask you guys to bring me here."

"Why did you need to come here?" he asked setting his hand on my shoulder.

"Tomorrow is the ninth year since...since-" I couldn't even say it. This is exactly what I didn't want either of them to see.

"Since your family, well, you know."

"Yeah."

"Where did Dean go anyway?"

"To get shit faced most likely."

"Where?"

"Up the street that way. The bar is on the left."

"Okay. Well, why don't you go relax and get settled in. I'll be next door if you need anything."

"Okay. Uh, Sam," I paused for a moment, "thanks."

He nodded and walked into his room. I unlocked the door to my room and dropped my bag on the floor. For a few minutes I just stood in the middle of the room. My body carried itself around the room. Why did I even care what he thought? I shouldn't have let those words phase me. I turned on the television and stared blankly at whatever was on. I sat like that for well over an hour. Finally I forced myself to get up. I walked into the bathroom. A half smile crept onto my lips. There was a bathtub I could actually fit in. I forgot that as my favorite part about this place. I plugged the drain and ran some hot water. I squeezed some of the complimentary body wash into the water for bubbles. My clothes felt stale from the car ride. I should probably do laundry while I was here. When the tub was filled enough I shut off the water. I wrapped a towel around me and went to grab my headphones. This was exactly the thing I needed to unwind. The towel slipped off my figure and landed on the nearby sink. I dipped my feet in the water and instantly regretted the temperature of my bath. It took a few tries until I could get the lower half in. I hesitated to sink in because I knew my back would hurt. My body sunk quickly into the water. Like ripping a band aid off I just wanted to get the pain over with. The wound stung as soon as the water touched it. Maybe it was a tad too hot for me. My muscles strained at the sudden shock to my wound. But it didn't take long for me to acclimate to the water. Soon I found myself wrapped in the warmth of the water. I put my headphones on and started to relax. I lost track of time. How many songs had I listened to? I tried to gage time that way, but it didn't help. My body sunk into the water so that my head went under. It was a peaceful moment. A hand suddenly grabbed my arm. I shot out of the tub. My hand twisting the arm that grabbed me as Dean fell to his knees trying to calm me down. My headphones fell from my ears as I punched him in the arm as hard as I could.

"Ow. What the hell ______?" he cried out.

"Give me one reason not to break your arm right now," I growled.

"I just wanted to talk."

"So you break into my room?  Well, aren't you just a lady's wet dream?" sarcasm dripped from my words.

"Can you just let me go?"

"What's the magic word?"

"Abracadabra?" he laughed at his own joke. I twisted his arm a little more in the direction it was already twisting. "Please, please!"

I let go of him and grabbed the towel to cover myself up. I wrapped it so it would stay up on its own. He turned around giving his shoulder a rub. I stormed past him and grabbed some clothes. He stood up and looked at me.

"Can you get out so I can get dressed?" I snarled.

"Why? I think-"

"I'm not in the mood for your crap, Dean. Out now. Or something will be broken."

He looked hurt. Maybe he regretted his poor choice of words earlier. Maybe he thought that I would be willing to listen. But he ran off to get his liquid courage to even be able to talk to me. I couldn't pick a single thing I was mad at him for. Everything about him was pissing me off right now. He sulked past like a scolded puppy. I shut the door harder than I needed to. As if he needed any more emphasis on how I was feeling. I dried off and pulled on a pair of shorts and a tank top. No point in wearing nice pajamas if they would only slow you down. The door opened and I returned to the room. A towel patted my hair dry so it wasn't dripping. Without saying a word I crossed the room to grab my brush. I started to brush my hair. Dean couldn't even look at me.

"You wanted to talk. So talk," I said in a gruff tone.

"I dunno where to start," his voice slurred a little, but not as much as I thought he would be.

"Well, you can go to your room and think about it then."

"Why are you mad at me?" he started becoming defensive.

"Are you seriously putting this on me?"

He immediately realized what he said and shook his head. I leaned against the dresser across from him and crossed my arms. If only we just talked about this sooner. Then we wouldn't be having this fight.

"I'm sorry, _____," he sighed, "I just don't know how to deal with this."

"Will you tell me what happened? Why did you have to get drunk to talk to me?"

"I didn't have to. I was still mad. And if you don't remember I can't really be mad at you," he paused searching for the right words, or suitable ones at least. "I kissed you."

My face could have actually burst into flames and I wouldn't have been shocked. My heart beat harder in my chest as I tore my gaze from him.

"You were so sad. You were so honest. And with the shifter flirting with me. I flirted with you at the Gas-n-Sip. It's not like I am not attracted to you. But Bobby will kill me if I hurt you. And I will. This life, this job, how we are raised. We're not like normal people. We can't like, or love, someone. Because they become a target. And I wanted to push you away to keep you safe. But making you-" another pause as between his explanation, "I didn't want to hurt you. I just don't want you to become a target because of these feelings."

I was shocked. This was so candid, so honest for him. Maybe he needed his inhibitions numbed to speak these words to me. I bit into my left thumb as I tried to process his words. He stood up and headed toward the door. Apparently he said what he needed to and was going to leave. My hand instinctively grabbed his arm. He stopped right in front of me.

"Dean," I sighed, "I-I didn't mean to forget. And I don't want you to hurt. But we don't have a choice in this life. Anyone we care about becomes a target. We're just humans against things that are much stronger than us. We chose this life for our own reasons. Or were thrust into it. Love is a luxury we don't get to afford."

He sighed and tried to pull his arm away. My hand held tighter to him. Tears built on the edge of my eyes. That familiar sting burned as I looked up at him. His face softened seeing my expression.

"But if you want, I'd like to consider it. I enjoy being around you. Even if it hurts one of us, me or you, we could try."

His hands grabbed my face carefully. His lips crashed into mine with vigor as he pulled away after a moment. He wrapped his arms around me and pulled me close to him.

"I think it's worth a shot. Because I will fight everything in hell to keep you safe."

The words reverberated in my head. For the first time in nearly six years I felt safe. I felt emotions that I had been too scared to have before. I felt safe in his embrace. Even though tomorrow I would have to deal with the pain of my past. I couldn't help but enjoy this moment. If only it could have lasted forever.