What's in is Despair (frerard)

Chapter 12

"Hey, do I need to change your bandages?" I called.

"No!" He said quickly.

I raised my eyebrows, turning and walking out. I picked him up and carried him to the bathroom. I set him gently on the edge of the tub and kneeled in front of him.

"Daddy don't, it's gonna hurt," he whimpered

"I'm sorry, beautiful," I whispered.

I unwrapped the bandage, tossing the bloody cloth into the trash. I washed off his arm again and dried it gently. Gee was whimpering, crying softly. My stomach felt sick all over again looking at the cuts across his pale skin.

"Baby," I mumbled.

I wrapped his wrist in gauze again, taping it in place. I looked up at his tear covered face, my head resting on his knees.

"I love you," I whispered.

He ran his fingers through my hair and I sighed.

"Please don't do this again," I begged.

Just the thought made me want to throw up.

"I love you, daddy," he said.

I took a deep breath, trying to fight back tears. His hand ran through my hair, comforting me gently.

"Why?" I asked.

"I-I don't have anyone," he whispered. "Nobody cares about me. I-I had to raise myself and my little brother and, as soon as he was old enough, my brother just pushed me aside. I-I've never been nothing but a waste of space. I was an accident, nobody wanted me. Nobody will ever want me."

I cried, shaking my head.

"Baby, I love you so much," I sobbed. "I want you, want you with me forever. I love you, you're perfect and special and the best person for me. You're not an accident, you're my baby boy."

"I'm sorry, daddy, I didn't mean to make you sad, I didn't think you'd care," he whispered. "No one cares about me."

"I care about you," I said.

"No," gee mumbled.

I felt the tears run down my cheeks, shaking my head. My arms hugged his legs gently, crying softly.

"Daddy, can we go watch a movie?" He asked softly.

I nodded, standing up. I carried him to the couch, hugging him tight as I turned on a movie he'd like. My precious baby sat curled into a little ball in my arms.

"You need to take a bath?" I asked.

"No," he said softly.

"Do you need anything? Ice cream? Kisses?" I questioned.

He shook his head and I sighed. I wiped my cheeks, hugging him tight.

"You hungry?" I asked. "I can get you something to eat."

"No," he mumbled.

"What about--"

"Daddy," he interrupted in a quiet voice. "I'm fine."

I sighed, kissing the top of his head. We sat there, watching the tv when I thought of something. I went downstairs outside, grabbing the spare key from under the doormat.

"Here," I said as I handed it to him and he looked at it in confusion. "Take the key and come over whenever you want. Even if I'm not home, take this and just come hang out at my house if you need to."

He nodded, looking down at the key in his hand.

"How about Olivia? You don't have Olivia, do you?" I asked.