love is a galaxy.

It's Okay

Trigger warning if  you are triggered easily, probably don't read this (self harm)

Phil's POV :

I lay in bed with my eyes closed, listening for Dan in his room down the corridor. He'd been crying for the past 15 minutes  and I'd just been lying in my bed. What a great friend!
I wanted to go and see him, so much, but when he'd rushed into the flat, covering his face in his hands and ignoring my shouts, he didn't seem like he'd wanted company.
He'd blocked himself in his room for the past 5 hours since he got back from his date with Kelly at 7. 

After another 15 minutes of crying, I couldn't take it any longer. I slid my feet into my bunny slippers and went out to the corridor. I could he at Dan in his room, so I crept to the far door.
I knocked quietly and said 'Dan' in my softest voice.
He stopped. Crying for a few seconds but couldn't hold his sobs in for much longer.
I knocked again. "Dan? I know you're in there. " I tried, still no answer.
I moved to knock again, but I heard the smash of something hitting the ground and breaking. In the split second that followed, I decided to go in, and slowly opened the door.
Dan was sat on the floor, a smashed glass next to him, holding a razor blade up to his arm.
Tears were streaming down his face and he didn't look up as I entered the room.
"Dan? " I said, rushing over to him. "What happened?" I continued, placing my hand on his back, he flinched away but when he realised it was me, he relaxed into my hand.
"Shall we put you back on the bed?" I asked him. He nodded in reply, so I grabbed his hand and pulled him up towards me.
It was then I saw the marks the blade must have made. Blood was dripping out of them, but they were luckily more puncture holes than slits.

I self consciously pulled my sleeves down  over my own scars.

After leading Dan over to Hus bad and setting him down, I turned to face him.  Tears were still streaming down his face and he was taking ragged breaths. I reached forward and wiped his tears away with my thumbs.
After about another minute, Dan finally spoke.
"I can't do anything right. " he whispered "I can't even hurt myself properly."
I looked straight at him and replied
"Yes you can. You can do so many things right. And I hope you can never hurt yourself properly. I need you Dan. You are the reason I'm alive. You  are the reason I'm who I am. "
"But why can't I be perfect ? Why do I have to be who I am?"
"Dan, I like you " - I love you- "just the way you are. And think of it this way, If you're perfect, you can only get worse. " I told him.
"But-" he started but I placed my finger on His lips.
"Shh… I'm going to go and get the first aid kit so we can sort you out, and maybe, when I get back, you can tell me why you hid in your room for nearly 6 hours? Okay? Okay. "

I carefully took the blade out of His hand and collected the shards of glass from the floor.

I sat on Dan's bed wrapping his arm up in bandages.
"Kelly doesn't like me the way I am" Dan said. His words spiked with sadness. I looked up at him.
"She broke up with me. " Dan said. I could see the sadness in his eyes. "She said I was 'generally annoying', my hair always looked rubbish, I was a terrible kisser," - boy would I love to see what a 'terrible' kisser he is -" and that she'd found someone better, not that it was hard. "
"Dan, that's, that's terrible. I'm really sorry. I don't agree with any of those statements by the way. Well, I mean, I obviously don't know how good you are at kis-"
Dan leaned over and was about to kiss me , I'm sure of it, but changed his mind last second and hugged me instead.
"Thank you Phil. " he whispered in my ear, sending shivers down my body. "But I'm going to try and sleep for a bit I think. "
"Okay, sleep well" I replied. I can only hope the disappointment didn't show on my face. He'd almost kissed me.

ALMOST KISSED ME.