I get pulled back in. Back into the tunnel, the tunnel where you never see the light. I keep getting pulled back inside, no matter what i do.
All I see is darkness, I'm so far in that I see no light. No light at the end of the tunnel. The darkness is somewhat comforting, but my thoughts and loneliness is what makes it unbearable.
I feel empty inside, as well there is nothing around me. All I feel is pain and emptiness. No matter who is around, my family or friends I still feel numb.
I see no end to the pain, and I often wonder if it's worth it, if I should just end it all; get it all over with. It isn't like someone would miss me, right?
It can take me months to see the light again and maybe I feel the light, happiness for a few months; if i'm lucky enough. And then i'm pulled back in, inside the tunnel with no light. If I want out, then I have to claw my way out; but I don't see the light until i'm out of the tunnel and back in the light.
No matter what I do I get pulled back in. Everytime I get pulled back in the pain and numbness is worse than before; I always doubt whether its worth it, if my breath and heartbeat is worth the neverending pain i feel.
I can't bear clawing my way back out again. I'm sick of the pain, the loneliness, always feeling sad and numb.
I want to feel alive again, but I know it won't last.
The promise of death is too tempting, the only thing I can feel is pain; the neverending pain. I just want it to end, and in my mind death is the only way out.
