Misplaced Love-Sociopathic Love

The Awakening

Hey guy. No disrespect. I can't be a number 2. I don't know what I was thinking. I love u to death but I gotta get my respect for myself back. I've let u carry me more than any other guy in hopes of a relationship. That was unrealistic. I let u borrow money-your girl's job-the hotel no show, and then seeing u or hearing about u doing it with her. Uh yeah...that's a no. I've enjoyed our intimate stuff but back to bffs. We are going to hit rewind and I'll support u like I did before and u supported me. I AM really in love with u😍 but I respect me more. We are good. I know u will have a great weekend with Kayla. Bye boy. See u monday. 😉
January 1, 2017

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These are the words that finally gave me a chance to get my respect back for myself. To understand the context of this text message, you first have to know how this so called relationship started.
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May 2016

"Miranda, please report to producer's desk. Miranda please report to the producer's desk." Now what ..I thought to myself as I gulped the last bit of my iced chai latte. I swear, I just got to work 10 minutes ago, and I'm already being summoned. Of course this is part of my job as a high profile news producer at News 6. I actually am the reason the news is reported accurately and in a timely fashion. I report to work at 4am, an hour before the anchors report to work in order to make sure the stories for the day are ready for broadcast. I've been described as an energetic, down to earth person. Not to mention, sexy, cute, and adorable. My clothing exudes sexiness, my 5'2" height says cute, and my sleek shoulder length Bob with bangs says adorable-when needed.

The only other people who are at work are overnight reporters and our building services staff. Grabbing my phone, portfolio, and headset I speedwalk down the hall. On my way to the producer's desk I pass 2 other assistant producers. "Hey Shari, hey Ben. Don't forget I need you all at the desk by 4:30. Got it?"

"Miranda, have we ever been late?" Shari asked a rhetorical question because she knew full well they both had been late just last week.
"Ummm hmm just be there guys." I told them with a smirk.

Rounding the corner I started to read over the news stories for the day when my phone buzzed. Glancing quickly, I sighed when I saw the name. Hubby. Now what does he want. I was 5 minutes late this morning because I had been waiting for him to come home from his late work night. Only this time he was taking longer than usual. Needless to say I was not happy. Hubby told me some story about the trains running slow. I mean I guess this could be true, but with our history this does not sit well with me.

Two years before this, my husband Quinn, cheated on me and left me for another woman. After some brief counseling and countless months of rebuilding our relationship I thought we were doing better. That is until a month ago, when he started making excuses for being late that were eerily similar to the time leading up to his affair. For the past month I started to feel insecure and I questioned my rebuilt trust in him. None of my friends or family knew about these new fears of mine. Well....almost no one. I told one person who no one would suspect I even spoke to.

"Excuse me Mrs. Nesbitt, you literally were about to run right into me." Think about him and he will appear I thought. Speak of the devil, Shaun stood less than 5 inches from me. I had been so engrossed in my thoughts of my husband Quinn, I didn't realize I was about to run into Shaun.

"Oh good morning Shaun I am so sorry, I didn't see you." I hope he knew I meant that. Looking at him I knew he believed me. Shaun Trotter is my unlikely work confidant. Looking into his steel grey eyes, I remember how we first started talking. Shaun works as the building electrician. He fixes all the problems with lights, outlets, and installations. He is what I consider a hard worker who is often overlooked for the skills he brings to the newsroom simply because most of us are highly educated and traveled.

One early morning I had the unfortunate idea to plug in a portable heater. You can imagine what happened next...I blew a fuse in my office. I sent a request for assistance and 10 minutes later, in walked Shaun. Ummmm to say he was cute would not be accurate. He was ruggedly sexy. Totally not the kind of guy I usually notice. For one I'm black and I love my black men in all shades. Shaun, although tan, was definitely a white guy. His hair was dark brown with a cropped cut. He had one big dimple in his right cheek that made him look all the more enticing. He came to me and kneeled on one knee and said,"Will you marry me?" I paused thinking I don't even know you. Before I could speak he stood up with a gorgeous smile and said "Just kidding, I'm Shaun. I hear you blew a fuse. " He said as he extended his hand to me. Ummmm I see a tattoo on his upper bicep. Tattoos are my weakness. "Hi I'm Miranda and yes I don't know what I did but something went wrong." I was instantly at ease with him. From that day on Shaun would stop by my office every morning to say hello.

"Miranda hello. What are you thinking about?" Shaun's voice brought me back to the present. I straightened my head as I realized I had been daydreaming in front of Shaun. "Oh I'm just thinking about this stupid text my husband sent me." Shaun stepped closer and said "Why what's wrong now?"
"You sound like me. That's what I said." Laughing I stepped back one step. I suddenly felt a little too close to him. "I don't know it's the same thing I told you about before. Coming home late." I shook my head in disbelief as I reminded myself why I was upset this morning. "No worries. I'm sure everything will be fine. " I said more to myself than Shaun. "What about you? How are you and Kayla doing?"

Shaun paused and then leaned against the wall. "Well I think we are done. " What? Why did my stomach just feel a little flutter at those words.

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Tell me your thoughts so far. Thanks.
Thank you for the sexy cover @AYClaudy